Gabbie Hanna - Roast Yourself lyrics
[Gabbie Hanna - Roast Yourself lyrics]
Yo, revine for revine
I got 17 million subscribers and I
Made this entire thing on iMovie
Like, not just the video part
Like the entire thing
Like, I had to export the
Audio file as a video
And then bring it back in as a video
And then overlay video on top
Of video because I
Don't know how to do shit with audio
It's pretty fucking pathetic
Hi, Gabbie! Hey! What's up today?
I'm gonna roast myself that's up to date
Not really, bitch, you're fucking late
Two shitty vids a week too much to plate?
You know damn well what took so long
To come out with this whack-ass song
What the fuck are you supposed to do
When you wanna join in but
No one challenges you?
It's lonely and pathetic but I'll
Put that on the shelf
And I'll challenge myself to roast myself
How original! What a surprise
You're dying alone and you can't get guys
Maybe your dating life would be just fine
If you didn't talk about it
All the fucking time
Welcome back! Who the fuck you talking to
Bitch? Can't you see no one's even
Coming back to this shit?
You have another channel that nobody watches
Your vlogs got no views like an agnostic
Haven't you noticed all
Your views slow-dropping?
Looks like your show-stoppers
Stopped show-stopping
You hang out with and act
Like and dress like a
TeenAnd your social life only
Exists on the screen
The fact that you've had the
Same hair for 8 years
Doesn't make you appear to be
Young to your peers speaking of which
How fucking old are you again?
Your voice sounds like you smoked two packs
A day since you were 10
About to get as cold as a damn ice cube
How the fuck did you ever
Make it big on YouTube?
Take your irrelevant ass back to Vine
Where people only hate you 6
Seconds at a time
You remade so many memes I forgot to mention
Your family sat you down
For de-Vine intervention
The Gabbie Show, what a fucking genius
Twerk for views, now show more cleavage
Here's some shit to make
Them flip their lids
Make some vids that appeal to kids
Pokémon, ghost stories, Tinder dates
Make content that even you would hate
So you can get hella views
'cause they all relate
Then you slap 'em in the
Face with some fresh clickbait
If you had fans once
Then you surely lost them
Now you only get views making
Out with Shane Dawson
It's not clickbait if it actually happened!
Okay, stop right there before
I start snapping you say you hate drama
But don't try to spin it
If that was the case
How you always up in it?
Get off your fucking high horse
And take some blame
Stop exaggerating stories just for
Money and fame
I don't know how to get this through to you
If you're always in drama
The problem is you oh! It's probably true
The Gabbie Show, behind the scenes
Stuffing your face with Krispy Kremes
Reading comments about your size
Use Chipotle napkins to wipe your eyes
Washing your feelings down with tears
I'm on a diet! What, for 25 years?
I know you diet and you're trying
To be a smaller size
But running out of ideas
Is your only exercise
I'm not the type to hit you with low blows
But the only thing bigger than
Your thighs is your nose
You think my nose is big? Oh
I never heard that before tell me why your
Roast sounds like a 10 year-old commenter
Gotta admit, that's a real good one
Now, tell me Gabbie
Who'd you steal that from?
I never stole a joke from any of the pros
That's a lie
That's why you got Pinocchio's nose
Oh! Ouch! Oh my god, I
Can't even be mad! Fuck
That was clever! Shit! Ouch!
You rehash the same joke a million times
You did "Me as a Parent" so
Many times it's a crime
Another storytime?! Bitch
Now you're just lazy
Even your therapist knows you're crazy
You talk about roommates and Uber rides
You'd keep your nose out their business
But it's hard at that size
Typical Gab, three nose jokes in a row
You're proving my point, so I guess I can go
I'm sorry, kid, but you hit your peak
You're your own biggest fan
But your content's weak
It's all downhill and your future's bleak
Might as well make yourself
Showstopper of the week
You know, people always comment on how it's
Cool that I have the
Same username on everything
Like "thegabbieshow"
On Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat
Literally everything and if you really think
About it, it's because, that's
A thing because
Nobody's ever cared enough to steal my
Handle that's how irrelevant I
Am is nobody's
Ever tried to steal my username
So there's a silver lining on that
Also, why are you always yelling?
I got 17 million subscribers and I
Made this entire thing on iMovie
Like, not just the video part
Like the entire thing
Like, I had to export the
Audio file as a video
And then bring it back in as a video
And then overlay video on top
Of video because I
Don't know how to do shit with audio
It's pretty fucking pathetic
Hi, Gabbie! Hey! What's up today?
I'm gonna roast myself that's up to date
Not really, bitch, you're fucking late
Two shitty vids a week too much to plate?
You know damn well what took so long
To come out with this whack-ass song
What the fuck are you supposed to do
When you wanna join in but
No one challenges you?
It's lonely and pathetic but I'll
Put that on the shelf
And I'll challenge myself to roast myself
How original! What a surprise
You're dying alone and you can't get guys
Maybe your dating life would be just fine
If you didn't talk about it
All the fucking time
Welcome back! Who the fuck you talking to
Bitch? Can't you see no one's even
Coming back to this shit?
You have another channel that nobody watches
Your vlogs got no views like an agnostic
Haven't you noticed all
Your views slow-dropping?
Looks like your show-stoppers
Stopped show-stopping
You hang out with and act
Like and dress like a
TeenAnd your social life only
Exists on the screen
The fact that you've had the
Same hair for 8 years
Doesn't make you appear to be
Young to your peers speaking of which
How fucking old are you again?
Your voice sounds like you smoked two packs
A day since you were 10
About to get as cold as a damn ice cube
How the fuck did you ever
Make it big on YouTube?
Take your irrelevant ass back to Vine
Where people only hate you 6
Seconds at a time
You remade so many memes I forgot to mention
Your family sat you down
For de-Vine intervention
The Gabbie Show, what a fucking genius
Twerk for views, now show more cleavage
Here's some shit to make
Them flip their lids
Make some vids that appeal to kids
Pokémon, ghost stories, Tinder dates
Make content that even you would hate
So you can get hella views
'cause they all relate
Then you slap 'em in the
Face with some fresh clickbait
If you had fans once
Then you surely lost them
Now you only get views making
Out with Shane Dawson
It's not clickbait if it actually happened!
Okay, stop right there before
I start snapping you say you hate drama
But don't try to spin it
If that was the case
How you always up in it?
Get off your fucking high horse
And take some blame
Stop exaggerating stories just for
Money and fame
I don't know how to get this through to you
If you're always in drama
The problem is you oh! It's probably true
The Gabbie Show, behind the scenes
Stuffing your face with Krispy Kremes
Reading comments about your size
Use Chipotle napkins to wipe your eyes
Washing your feelings down with tears
I'm on a diet! What, for 25 years?
I know you diet and you're trying
To be a smaller size
But running out of ideas
Is your only exercise
I'm not the type to hit you with low blows
But the only thing bigger than
Your thighs is your nose
You think my nose is big? Oh
I never heard that before tell me why your
Roast sounds like a 10 year-old commenter
Gotta admit, that's a real good one
Now, tell me Gabbie
Who'd you steal that from?
I never stole a joke from any of the pros
That's a lie
That's why you got Pinocchio's nose
Oh! Ouch! Oh my god, I
Can't even be mad! Fuck
That was clever! Shit! Ouch!
You rehash the same joke a million times
You did "Me as a Parent" so
Many times it's a crime
Another storytime?! Bitch
Now you're just lazy
Even your therapist knows you're crazy
You talk about roommates and Uber rides
You'd keep your nose out their business
But it's hard at that size
Typical Gab, three nose jokes in a row
You're proving my point, so I guess I can go
I'm sorry, kid, but you hit your peak
You're your own biggest fan
But your content's weak
It's all downhill and your future's bleak
Might as well make yourself
Showstopper of the week
You know, people always comment on how it's
Cool that I have the
Same username on everything
Like "thegabbieshow"
On Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat
Literally everything and if you really think
About it, it's because, that's
A thing because
Nobody's ever cared enough to steal my
Handle that's how irrelevant I
Am is nobody's
Ever tried to steal my username
So there's a silver lining on that
Also, why are you always yelling?