Goldie Lookin Chain - Fresh Prince of Cwmbran lyrics

Now this is a story I've got to share
It'll only take a minute, sit right there
If you shop at Iceland or Matalan
Let me tell you about a
Special place called Cwmbran

In South Wales, home to straights and gays
With fantastic free parking
You can park any days
Go up the leisure centre
Look at tit's in the pool
Get arrested hanging round one
Of the secondary schools

There's a number of pubs and
They're all quite good
Although the square's full of
Roughs from the neighbourhood
So get on the motorway and drive
As fast as you can
On the A-4-0-5-1 to Cwmbran

In West Cwmbran they have a trading estate
You can rent a warehouse
For a reasonable rate
They had the first McDonalds in South Wales
And if you drank in the Moonraker
You had to be nails

Forty-seven thousand people known to
Live around there
That's ten thousand more than
The folks in Aberdare
If you like folk dancing then
Just ring up and call
They do lessons in Llantarnam at
The local church hall

Cwmbran's not known for rape or killing
It's a great place to go, if you're chilling
I went around the world from LA to Japan
I never found a place with
Parking quite like Cwmbran

Now this is a story about
A standard Welsh town
With adequate facilities, come on down
They got a cinema, biscuit factory
Built to plan i want tell you all about a
Place I know called Cwmbran

Go on a day trip, in the car
In the mornings go to Llandegfedd reservoir
Then if you're bored, in the afternoons
Enjoy reasonably priced booze in
The JD Wetherspoons

The people of Cwmbran will help
You reach your goal
From drainage to locksmith to pest control
So if you come from far
Away like Essex or Vietnam
Just remember it's the place
Where indoor shopping began

There's so much to see, where to begin
You might wanna stay the night
At the Premier Inn
So get your sister, your aunty
Your cousin and your gran
And take them on a day trip, up to Cwmbran

If you had an operation and
You need rest and calm
You can spend the day hanging
Out at Green Meadow Farm
They've got llamas, sheep, chicken
Pigs and a cow
And if you don't know how to milk them
Then the staff will show you how

This was a story about a special place
Where if you take your car
You'll always find a space
And that was the story of how it began
And how you can be the
Fresh Prince of Cwmbran

Oh Cwmbran, they've got there

I saw Colin Jackson in Cwmbran stadium once

My mate went to a car
Boot sale in Cwnbran last
Weekend and bought a full bondage
Outfit for fourteen quid, wicked

I've got a mate up in Cwnbran called Verve
Didn't leave the house for three years
And he only wears chinos