GQ, Earl Sweatshirt - GQ&A: Earl Sweatshirt lyrics

When I turned 19
I spent my birthday watching "Bruce
Almighty" with my parents or
Maybe I went bowling? Please tell
Me yours was cooler

Nope i played video games with
My friends and ate tacos

Still better what's the biggest
Difference between Earl
Sweatshirt in 2009 and Earl Sweatshirt now?

I'm fucking grown now i was a little-ass
Kid in 2009 i've figured shit out
– well not figured shit out that's
Ridiculous not in some pretentious way
Just as a result of time

Same question, but this time for Thebe

Same shit i don't draw a line between them

Let's talk about Doris there's a lot
Of pretty overt talk of mental
Illness on the album at one
Point in the track "Sunday, " you and
Frank Ocean rap in unison
"What good is West Coast weather if you're
Bipolar?" At another point, in "Burgundy, "
There's a voice-over that asks
"Why you so depressed and sad all
The time like a little bitch?"
How did your own experience with
Mental illness inform this album?

I don't know about mental illness
But I'm a sad bitch sometimes that's
The shit I'm more attracted to
So even if I'm not
The shit that gets me excited is
All very moody and unstable
That's some shit that I don't
Even see changing like
I can't make that good of music
When I'm happy some shit has
To happen that either pisses me
Off or that's very grave

It's a really personal record
– very different, content-wise, from Earl

Doris is still impulsive
But it's far less abrasive than
Earl i tried to count
How many times there's a reference to
Raping or killing someone on Earl
And I just gave up

I'm an adult i can't be fucking talking
About raping people and shit that
Shit's crazy as an adult, if you
Want to talk about rape
There's certain shit that comes along with it

As part of your program in Samoa, you
Worked with victims of sexual assault, yes?

Yeah, so you get to see
That side of the fence, and then
It's just fucked that's what I'm saying
That fully draws the line
Where it's like you can stand
On either side either
You're a fool that is down with
Fucked up shit – I mean
I'm a fan of macabre
Shit, you know what I'm saying? But not like
That at the end of the day
I'm not some evil guy

Was there a crucial moment you realized that?

Any subject, whether it's raping people or
Swag or some fucking
Shoes or something – if you
Rap about it enough
It's going to get boring it was sick

Do you worry that not dealing with the
Same things that Earl dealt with will
Make you less appealing to people who
Loved all that rape and murder?

I don't care hey one thing
I've learned in this past
Year is that motherfuckers are
Really stupid there's a
Lot of really retarded people that's
Not being a dick
Or anything that's some real life shit like
I've actually been amazed

You're pretty upfront about
Dealing with addiction
Issues on Doris was it
Something you were struggling with before
You left for Samoa?

Yeah, it was before I left now I can go
Through these awesome little two-week
Things where – well
Not anymore because I don't have time to
– but when I didn't have to do shit
I could go through two-week
Things where I could just get fucked
Up and then explore that
And then be done with that when I got
Over it then make some sick music

Nothing extreme, though it's 2013
And everyone smokes weed, and I
Don't want to be that one
Guy that's like "Dude, i smoke weed" But
I was very high for a really long time
Just to see what
That was like when I recorded
The bulk of the album
I got so skinny because I was
Smoking weed and drinking Red Bull
And smoking cigarettes and
I'd eat Chick-fil-A like once every 12 hours

This is after you're back?

Yeah

OK but if addiction is one of the
Things you were hoping to address by
Going away, and then you get back
And do this sort of thing
Is your relationship to this
Stuff at all different?

What does a red flag look like?
I don't know if I'm doing some shit too
Much i did some stupid shit when I
Was recording and I'll probably
Do some stupid
Shit when I record the next album
Too i'm going to go to like
London or something fucking Trainspotting

One thing that's stayed similar
On the two albums
Is this dynamic you and Tyler have on
Songs where you're both featured he's got a
Sort of big-brother complex
– half protective
Half intimidating are you competitive in
Any other ways? Skateboarding?

No i'm way better at skating than Tyler
He skates better transition than I do
But I skate way better because he's too goofy

Arm wrestling?

He'll fuck me up at arm wrestling
That fool's a fucking freak athlete
I hate him he's fucking good at
Everything i don't like it

Who got a better SAT score?

Ha! I got a fucking better SAT score
This is the thing: I know I'm
More eloquent than Tyler is like as
Far as school and shit goes
I'm technically better than him but that's
A smart nigga that's a
Very smart man right there he's
Also a fucking idiot

One thing that's really compelling about your
Return is that you've sort
Of bypassed all of the shitty
Parts about being a rapper

I bypassed a lot i also missed the
Sick part of it too, though like
I didn't get to fully live
In the world where we were still mysterious
Like when we
Were cracking – when we were blowing up more
But not on a level where little girls
Would fuck with us it was
Still kind of scary i missed that
It was charged with dark energy

After you went away
You made it pretty clear that
You weren't forced away –
That the decision was the right one for you

I mean, I had to get forced
Away but yeah, like I said
End result: I wasn't mad

Was there a moment before leaving
Where things got so
Bad that you realized you needed to go?

I didn't even give a fuck i was so heated
When I went and I was heated right after
I went and for like a year i don't know
If there was a moment when I realized
Shit was best for me
But my mom was just like –
I was just fighting her back
And forth all night on why the "Free Earl"
Shit wasn't fucked up or whatever every week
You'd meet with the therapist and
Talk to your parents she
Was telling me she was afraid to go to
Work and she was having trouble
Getting dressed in the
Morning – to like get up and go to
Work and shit she just didn't know what to do
I guess it's just one of those things where
The line is drawn you get to stand on either
Side of it that was a fucked-up feeling

You mentioned tools in your toolbox before
What were some of the
Other things you found most useful
During your time away?

I learned how to be patient some of the
Worst kids ever were there ever no
Words could describe what it was like living
Twenty-four-seven with someone who
On the outside
You would vocalize your hate for
You have to live with him you have no
Other option, you know what I mean? Like
Your
Option is you either put up with some shit
That you don't want to put up with
Or stay till you're fucking
Twenty-one years old

Who determined that you were ready to
Go? How did that work?

The therapist there's like a level
System that you have to
Work through so you come in at a level one
And you leave at a level
Six it's basically left
Up to you how long it takes to
Get through the shit you don't
Have anything at level one
You don't have shit you can't go to the
Bathroom by yourself then you slowly
Work your way through
The level system and you get more privileges
More independence

Were you quick to work through those levels?

Hell no! I was terrible i was awful for
That whole year that I was talking about
I was the worst i became the one
Example that people give like
When I came in, they always give new
Kids the examples like, "Now if
You want to leave here, you
Act like him you don't want to
Be like him" After a year
I was the "you don't want to
Be like him" I actually
Couldn't believe it i turned into that
One guy i hated everything if
I thought I didn't like shit
When I was at home
I really learned how to be a real piece
Of shit that hated myself
And literally everything

After that year happened, I convinced
Myself that home wasn't real
That it was a figment of my imagination –
That I was going to die there
Because as far as I was
Concerned, I was like, "What the fuck can
You show me of home?" When I
Closed my eyes and opened them
All I see is the palm trees

And yet here you are

I was like
"I want to go home" And it's entirely up to
You that's what I realized for that
Whole year, I was like
"You motherfuckers gonna keep me here?"

Do you ever worry that the more
Individual success Odd Future members get
The harder it will be to
Stay cohesive as a unit?

We'll see with time
But yeah that's a fucking weird thing
To think about wild i don't worry too much
Because everyone was friends before we
Did music so with or
Without music, everyone's still going to be
Straight odd Future's like a network
As opposed
To like a rap group i mean, obviously
It's a rap group but still
There's a lot of other shit going on than
A bunch of fools that rap together

How do you keep things close?
Group meditations? Sweat lodges?

Where'd you meet?

But you're happy

Yeah see
When I start recording new shit then I've
Got to like stall her out
For a second because she makes me
Too happy shit won't work out

On the final verse of the last
Song on Doris, you rap "Young
Black and hazy vision strolling
Through the night" Was
That meant to be a sort of synopsis?

That's a pretty perfect summation
Of where I'm at most of the time like
Kind of aloof and salty and
Also young and black

Last question there's a poem about you
Written in
1995 by your family friend Sterling Plumpp
Called "Poet: for Thebe Neruda"
It ends this way:

"You were born with blues

On them how you gon do anything but rule?"

Do you feel fated to do what you do?

I still have a hard time recognizing
That you're good at something
And not being a fucking dickhead
A lot of times
A lot of really talented people
Are dickheads so I
Still have to get comfortable
My friends have to
Remind me that it's OK to own the fact that
You're good at something i think it'll just
Come with getting older but I don't ever want
To be a fucking asshole so until
I feel like I'm able to find that
Balance – of not being a
Prick and fully owning the fact that I
Maybe am very good at something –
I'm very tired by it because a
Lot of times, it's a very, very thin line