Guardin - fate lyrics
guardin [Nicholas Jordan Kerr-Carpenter]
[Guardin - fate lyrics]
Taylor 'bout to fucking flex
Hey you, I just called again to say
Sorry for the things I do
I haven't been okay
I'm rippin' you apart until you're
Nothing but a face
I don't realize I do this shit
Until it's just too late
And I struggle tryna juggle 'til
My problems go away
But I never understand it
Never see the light of day
I just sit inside my room smoking
'til my lungs go gray
And the smoke is lying to me
Caving in until I fray
And I know my problems come from
What I birth inside my brain
Mixing my reality with what
My mind considers pain
Didn't know what I was doing 'til
It all just went away
I fucking lost you in the process
A monster under the reign
Of what I feel and it ain't fucking true
I've grown another hue
Never actin' like it matters
All I fucking do
Supposed to use this music shit
As a fucking tool
But I've been drowning in my water
It's a darker blue
The water rises and I'm trapped
Inside my head now
Don't wanna talk about it
Rather go to bed now
Let it build, let it build 'til I stress out
And fuck sobriety
Seshin' until I'm gassed out
I'm a son without a father
Thinking I could make it
Farther than my roots
But it gets harder every day
When you try your best to grow up
Never meant for this to blow up
I'm just throwing up on all that I create
Finding purpose in the serpents
Seepin' deeper than the surface
I'ma pick up all the pieces 'til they stay
And I'ma run into those arms
Baby, don't you be alarmed
Now that I know everything I wanna say
I'm a product of the seasons
When the weather doesn't change
I'm a cold-blooded bastard as backwards
As my own brain never giving it a hundred
Like fifty if I'm okay
I was selfish for a moment
Was frozen in my array
Never meant for it to hurt you
Desertin' you when I fade
But this ghost has found his body
I'm wishin' you would've stayed
I've been battling these demons since 12
I know you relate
'Cause you handed me your sword and
Told me to decide my fate
Yeah you and I paint the sky together
Hey you, I just called again to say
Sorry for the things I do
I haven't been okay
I'm rippin' you apart until you're
Nothing but a face
I don't realize I do this shit
Until it's just too late
And I struggle tryna juggle 'til
My problems go away
But I never understand it
Never see the light of day
I just sit inside my room smoking
'til my lungs go gray
And the smoke is lying to me
Caving in until I fray
And I know my problems come from
What I birth inside my brain
Mixing my reality with what
My mind considers pain
Didn't know what I was doing 'til
It all just went away
I fucking lost you in the process
A monster under the reign
Of what I feel and it ain't fucking true
I've grown another hue
Never actin' like it matters
All I fucking do
Supposed to use this music shit
As a fucking tool
But I've been drowning in my water
It's a darker blue
The water rises and I'm trapped
Inside my head now
Don't wanna talk about it
Rather go to bed now
Let it build, let it build 'til I stress out
And fuck sobriety
Seshin' until I'm gassed out
I'm a son without a father
Thinking I could make it
Farther than my roots
But it gets harder every day
When you try your best to grow up
Never meant for this to blow up
I'm just throwing up on all that I create
Finding purpose in the serpents
Seepin' deeper than the surface
I'ma pick up all the pieces 'til they stay
And I'ma run into those arms
Baby, don't you be alarmed
Now that I know everything I wanna say
I'm a product of the seasons
When the weather doesn't change
I'm a cold-blooded bastard as backwards
As my own brain never giving it a hundred
Like fifty if I'm okay
I was selfish for a moment
Was frozen in my array
Never meant for it to hurt you
Desertin' you when I fade
But this ghost has found his body
I'm wishin' you would've stayed
I've been battling these demons since 12
I know you relate
'Cause you handed me your sword and
Told me to decide my fate
Yeah you and I paint the sky together