Guardin - Sunday lyrics

Eight years and not a damn thing changed
I mean, I grew a little taller
But I'm sick and deranged
This dead weight on my shoulders
Got me feelin' so chained
A blunt will surely just diminish the pain
Sunday paper, saw your name on the page
Tryna hold back all these tears and
Bite my tongue through the rage
Disappear inside my head and kill
The thought with some sage heaven sent
It's evident that you gon'
Light up the stage

And I know that you gon' make
It to those pearly white gates
I'm a sinner
No god inside my realm decidin' my fate
But religion's how you found yourself
And I think that's great and growin' up
My mama told me that it's never too late


But my mind's in a crate, an asylum of doubt
I don't think the preacher likes the
Words that exit my mouth
Believin' in myself is my own personal route
Guardin guards his guardian angel as
The demons come out
And they got me shakin' hands with
The strangers in my brain
Am I reachin' for the stars or
Am I just going insane?
I've been trapped inside this hell of
Mine long before the rain
Can somebody shut me up and put
An end to all this pain?
I wanna fight it, ignite it
Smite it right out of me
My blood's runnin' colder and I'm
Tryna find some kinda heat
The burner is parallel
Paralyzing the incomplete
My stomach engulfed in the toxic
Tonic of River Street
And I don't know who I am
Traded my soul when I was fifteen
For a couple of grams
You'd think by now will all
The time that's passed
I'd be givin' a damn
But all I care about is her
Music and startin' a fam' fuck
Yeah, yeah

Woke up all alone inside of this bed
I check my phone
No missed calls or texts and Snapchat is dead
I close my eyes and try to see you
But you're too far ahead into the mist
I fuckin' travel searchin' for you again
'Cause sometimes I sit and ponder 'bout it
If I'm just being honest
I over think the simple things and
Treat it like a novice
The raindrops in my head
Started spittin' sonnets
I'm losin' hope, but I'mma love
You 'till the end, i promise
And I'mma try my fuckin'
Hardest just to understand
Why my head is sick
The answer lies inside my hand
Is it cause I'm growin' up? 'Cause
This isn't what I had planned
I just wanna call you
Enthrall you inside my wonderland
The ceiling's cavin' in
The walls are kinda thin
The locks are broken
A token of what I'll give
When he talked to me 'bout it
I thought I had found a friend
But he took an advantage
Of letting himself attend
Gripped me tight and made me do what I did
Yet confusion kept me quiet 'cause
I'm only a kid been forsaken from the truth
When other problems exist
But I was only fuckin' seven
Ain't no way to resist

Cracked the code
But I can't find a way to fix
'Cause these thirteen years have had
A secret in the mix
I can't go back and change it
And it makes me fuckin' sick
And if I ever run into you
Best expect a fuckin' brick
Six feet under isn't nowhere near
Imma tie this noose and hang
You from your own chandelier
Watch you squirmin' like a bitch and
Slit your throat to your ear
Spittin' on you like the sidewalk
As you tremble in fear

Fuck you for all these hands that I'm dealt
I remember being sixteen
Made a noose out a belt
Tried to hang up in my
Closet like the shirts, but I fell
But one time ain't even nothin'
Cause there's eighteen as well
You birthed a monster underneath all my bones
Can somebody check his pulse? I
Think this sorcerer's stoned
Marijuana and the whiskey when
I'm feelin' alone
I'm sittin' here but I don't
Feel like I'm home no, no, no