Haydn Startzel - Blood On My Hands lyrics
[Haydn Startzel - Blood On My Hands lyrics]
If you hate me, know that I agree
Seeds of blame sown
'cause you're not alone
Who's to say what's fair
when you're sittin' there
Drunk as hell up on my lap
Instead of on your chair
Can't say that you love me if you got
A quart of bevvy
Fuckin' with your words and tellin' me
Of what you lovin' of me
And if those words gotta be true then
I must be lovin' you too
But when I say it back I realize
How much I fucking hate you
No no no no that ain't true
Unless it's 11: 02
And I got more melly fuelin' me
Than a college girl got booze
But is that the place to
Be makin' choices? Contigencies?
Should I cut us off if the idea
Came to me at half past three?
I mean you were totally loose
When you reunited our truce
And retied that tangled knot of
An alcohol and blood-soaked noose
So if you were real floored when we restarted
Then I must be able to end
It when I'm up at four
You were their all-star player
The most kickin' hall of famer
Good track athlete 'til you say you're
Headed into the third layer
Booze, weed, cocaine, shrooms
Can't admit that this is you big, thick
Ego too things won't change 'til I meet you
We could never be apart
Watch the stars and smoke cigars
But vignettes of our time don't heal
The years of cerebral scars
Decade after we first met
Less nights spent out on the deck
No more stars and no more moons
Eyes of blue stained with maroon
Blood on the walls in the shape of your palm
Declinin' your calls
Three days later you're gone
If I just texted you back
We'd'a gotten cheese and mac
You'd be cured for the week
One visit to end your streak and
You'd be alive on your feet
Did I kill us? Did I kill you
Blood on my hands no matter who
I'm to blame for both that's the truth
Wish we still fucked, wish you still called
Can't do either 'cause y'all awol
Which is my fault not yours at all
Fucked if I don't, fucked if I do
Don't don't don't, do do do, us-us-us
You you you she deleted all your voicemails
She you she you she you, she-she you you you
Same shit kills you and her
Y'all gotta be the same 'cause
You did it first you did it first
You di-did it first
Because it's hard for me to love myself
Without you here because the days are slow
But the years are fast
I wonder when, I'll feel your smile
Seeds of blame sown
'cause you're not alone
Who's to say what's fair
when you're sittin' there
Drunk as hell up on my lap
Instead of on your chair
Can't say that you love me if you got
A quart of bevvy
Fuckin' with your words and tellin' me
Of what you lovin' of me
And if those words gotta be true then
I must be lovin' you too
But when I say it back I realize
How much I fucking hate you
No no no no that ain't true
Unless it's 11: 02
And I got more melly fuelin' me
Than a college girl got booze
But is that the place to
Be makin' choices? Contigencies?
Should I cut us off if the idea
Came to me at half past three?
I mean you were totally loose
When you reunited our truce
And retied that tangled knot of
An alcohol and blood-soaked noose
So if you were real floored when we restarted
Then I must be able to end
It when I'm up at four
You were their all-star player
The most kickin' hall of famer
Good track athlete 'til you say you're
Headed into the third layer
Booze, weed, cocaine, shrooms
Can't admit that this is you big, thick
Ego too things won't change 'til I meet you
We could never be apart
Watch the stars and smoke cigars
But vignettes of our time don't heal
The years of cerebral scars
Decade after we first met
Less nights spent out on the deck
No more stars and no more moons
Eyes of blue stained with maroon
Blood on the walls in the shape of your palm
Declinin' your calls
Three days later you're gone
If I just texted you back
We'd'a gotten cheese and mac
You'd be cured for the week
One visit to end your streak and
You'd be alive on your feet
Did I kill us? Did I kill you
Blood on my hands no matter who
I'm to blame for both that's the truth
Wish we still fucked, wish you still called
Can't do either 'cause y'all awol
Which is my fault not yours at all
Fucked if I don't, fucked if I do
Don't don't don't, do do do, us-us-us
You you you she deleted all your voicemails
She you she you she you, she-she you you you
Same shit kills you and her
Y'all gotta be the same 'cause
You did it first you did it first
You di-did it first
Because it's hard for me to love myself
Without you here because the days are slow
But the years are fast
I wonder when, I'll feel your smile