Home Bowman - Breakdown lyrics

I die twice I relocate
I come right back, Batarang
I say something, ShadowPlay
Giving that bitch tracheotomy

It's me the one who was starting shit
Since he was 13
That's me, that's me, that's me (okay)

Dislikable fellow
My brain has never been mellow
I'm buried in Monticello
I'm sipping right from the kettle
It's simple, I'm still a rebel
I'm breathing but never settle
Like Paddington Bear
I'll tell 'em I'm coming
I'm back to get 'em and I

Choose to believe the lies for one moment
The agreements that we had were never spoken
Unholy is the ghost in my focus
Break down like every trace of emotion

I think I hate myself more
Than I care to admit
I break down like all the time
Because of how I been existing
Frightened, panicked and unstable but I
Seem just to blend in
Invite me like all the time to die
But I will never give in

Saying that I lost my mind
Is just an understatement
Yeah like lately all the time
I'm keeping myself so distant
Every day, every day is a fucking disgrace
Every day

I don't think I've known a
Single soul that understands me
Even if they did
I left before I hurt our standing
I don't regret anything
Those bitches too demanding
There might be no difference between love
Shipping and handling

Everything has it's price and you
Are not a luxury if you say you love me I
Feel like I'm in a quandary
Do I break another one or
Leave before it's ugly
Incessantly bantering about and then I
Put you above me

Couple months ago I started feeling strange
Began to swallow food real slow
And then began the pain
Thought I had an issue
With my fucking tonsils
So I had them taken out and
Thought that I'd still be sane

I'm laying in my bed in tears
Because it's still the same
Codeine going through my system
Like some Raising Cane's
Doctors treat my situation like
A fucking game
I'm losing patience so I ask 'em
Who the hell's to blame

Baby I'm not feeling laughter I can't
Feel a thing at all
Try to empty out my mental but
I've got no one to call
I've been stuck inside a brawl that
No one could ever solve
Every day I wake up smaller than
I was the day before

And I lied to every single person
In my life who mattered
And now that's ending I think
I've just been a bastard
Start a brand new ending? And
It's looking sorta bashful
Many reasons to keep going but
I will look past them