Ishigami, Shiloh Dynasty - Ambition lyrics

Feel like I'm going insane stuck in my room
Every day i sit alone with all this pain
Wondering if I'll see another day
Always pretending to be okay
Lying to myself in different ways

I stay awake stuck with this feeling
All of this pain staying sealed in
Afraid, of the shit that I'm concealing
Why is my heart, what you keep stealing
I stay in my circle, to feel shielded
Always betrayed, so I'm not leaving

Suicidal thoughts, all in my head
Wake up in the morning and want to be dead
Don't wanna talk, just wanna stay in my bed
Moving and talking, fill me with dread
Stuck in place, I can't move ahead
Drifting slowly, I feel like a thread

How can I improve without ambition
I cannot make any competition
My failure, always stuck in repetition
My depression, always has new additions
Wondering if anyone really listens
Having happiness, is what I'm missing

My life is nothing more than a lie
I want nothing else but to die
Drowning in tears so I no longer cry
Blade in my arm but my blood is dry
Dreams to get away and just go fly
Fake smiles are just wasting my time

Burning my skin while I sit and laugh
Covered in blood like I'm taking a bath
Nails in my palms as I stand and stutter
Forgot how to speak because I just suffer
My only friend is a fucking box cutter
Sorry I'm not good enough like the others

Not lying about wanting my death
I look at my life and there is nothing left
I really don't care about being alive
Screaming out but you can't hear my cries
Why do you care if I really go die
I made myself clear, so good bye