Jon Cozart - POLITICLASH: Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden lyrics

Ladies and gentlemen
What in the Sam Hill is happening to America?
Fire fury
Mark Zuckerberg
It's the battle of the two septuagenarians
Who will save us? Silent generation my ass

Good evening to all you
Hacks still practicing quarantine
(Hey, it's the real Donald Trump) yeah
I'm gracing your screens
Ladies? (He ain't quite done making America scream)
Hey Barron, hold my hydroxychloroquine
Half my crew's in the pen
But I'm rollin' in deep
'Cause, I got this sick beat like Corona-19
You think Biden's gonna sweep once
My pеople hit the streets? They want
(Four morе years) 'Bout to give em fourteen
I'm impressed the progressives were
So quick to surrender


Got the left crying "uncle"
Electing a sex offender (Hee hee)
One sec, let me mention this in
Case you can't remember
My name is Donald Trump
And it's really nice dementia
I'm relentless
I still got Herman Cain's support
See him tweetin' from the freezer
Truck behind the Walmart
Calling all the free thinkers: the
Death count is fake
The Boomers won't complain 'til it's 401k
Don't trust Doctor Fausty
The little devil's cursed
I'm good getting my science from QAnon
Good nurse don't need to mince words
I'm a world-class jerk
Biden's spittin' out his dentures at
The mention of dessert
Only illegals and dead people
Vote for your ass
Giftin' ballots to the ghosts
Of Latinxmas passed
I'm giving Jesucristo a hand
With that Rapture i love the Bible
Heard I'm featured in the last chapter
My resumé? It's flawless
The markets go topless
I'm in bed with Big Tech
They're hard for MAGAnomics
Deregulated Wall Street, jet fuel economics
We'll watch it as the world
Trade topples from the optics
My tax cuts are massive, relax, slip it in
Yeah we're plowin' towards an
Iceberg, but bro, it's just the tip
(Ah) so don't bitch about the loopholes when
The rich fund your pulpit
I know you know the tax code
You're the ho who wrote it
Secret's out, I'm an asshole
The electorate's indifferent
Twenty trillion in debt
Pushing the bill onto their children
It's why they're called the Boomers
They sent a grenade in
I'm an exclamation point to
Finish off their generation

Joe Biden's lit let's hear him spit
He's got that nation in his grip
'Til arthritis hit no need to run
He pacin' it replacement hip
Heh heh, Joe Biden's lit don't question it
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Used to be a wingman
Now I'm balls deep in it, leakin' in
Bet I gotta clean the sheets from the beat
Bet you get 'em free when the Klan meet
With your family you owe the IRS millions
How will you feel when I grab five trillion
From out the pants of your
Friends in the Hamptons
Put into hands of the standard civilian
Got an interest in pragmatics, a fact addict
My resumé is straight fact, I don't pad it
You're running with a rat pack
Trapped in the attic
Your camp is running fake ads
They don't have it
No time for the dramatic ('Matic)
In a word I'm bureaucratic ('Cratic)
But, I heard it's a slur
Since you last had it
So I turn the flash off when I wreak havoc
Then static my affiliation? Moderate
My promise is: Make politics a yawn again
Speak softly, pack a long stick
Got a thick skin, that's Obama dick
To change a nation, play conservative
Segregation was ended by a surrogate
Like Lyndon, I know what my mission is
Lincoln wasn't even abolitionist
I'm not the hottest at the
Bar but I'm slammed
I like to do it in the dark, both hands
Bring you brekkie in bed, no pants
Butterface fine with a side of sliced ham
White bread in a tight jam
The budget? I'll double it, twice
Gotta green-splain science to the right
Raise the minimum wage fifteen overnight
That's the minimum age for
Your next teen wife
Bet you'll feel the heat when
You head toward the light
When you beg for your pardon
Better be more polite
Scalia knows Satan, rough from behind
If you're gonna drop the mic
Pick it up upright

Why don't you just say it?
You're a radical leftist
When it comes to socialism
You can't even social distance
Little Joe Hidin'
Where's that communist doctrine?
Sure, I may be Russian
But at least I'm not Stalin
So Christians are your lucky charm? Hmm
That's suspicious after killing babies
You're magically religious
You can't even pack a stadium
Much less the courts
Sleepy Joe, go home to the other six dwarfs
You're too weak to keep me and
My cabinet on the ropes
Better call up Obama to
Bust up this chiffarobe
All that time in the swamp, Joe
You're starting to prune
You're looking like the creature
Trailing the black goon
Put your hands in the air
And pray I'm not bitter
I'm a riot with blue lives
And they're easily triggered
I'd throw you in prison before
You ever got elected
But, you'd probably be dead before
You could finish your sentence
You're a typical Democrat, pretending to care
When black lives only matter to
You every four years
Yeah, I'm proud of my boys
But I'll denounce white power
Want Hunter to love you? I'll
Grind you into white powder four more years
They want me reelected President
When you hear "four more years
" the doctor's being generous
So in case you need reminding:
Even if you squeak by
You'll be the least memorable
President of Alzheim

Republican, Democrat, we are all Americans
And as President, I promise I will loser
Huh? What?
You're a loser, okay? With the Ukraine thing
With your son it's a huge deal
The fake news media will you shut up, man?
No! I can't think
'Bout to take the route you
Tried with Don Jr, plan B

You dropped Agent Orange on New York
For what? A photo op?
Holdin' a Bible like a prop
Poppin' tear gas like a soda pop
I noticed though
You got the photo cropped down to a solo shot
Though the cops were all around you
Like a Donald Duncan Donut shop
You ain't pro-life
You get weak kneed getting fingered by police
You only lift up women so
You can see what's underneath
Strippin' healthcare to it's bare bones
And switching your positions
You're a deep fake Defarge
With the way you sow division
Too many characters in your cabinet
This America or Narnia?
Escaping into fantasy like every
Night for poor Melania
With Pence making claims on
The coronavirus task force
"The virus came from China
" like Ivanka Trump's bags were
Your flow's sick from Hope Hicks
And the COVID flight crew
First time in four years
I've heard "positive" news
Once you kill off your constituents
Who's left to vote for you?
My soccer moms sure won't
Better hope hicks do for a century
The economy's done better under Democrats
You call yourselves conservatives you
Don't even spend less
You sodomized the middle class
We're stuck in deuteronomy
Wandering through forty years of
Shoddy fiscal policy
You run the country like your business
So that's why we're in debt
You must be working on commission
For that precious 1%
You don't like the news
So you stole the printing press
To pump the markets full of bull
A courtesy of the FEDs
You're done tearing at the
Fabric of American society
Like it's one of your lovers
Of the Bolshevik variety
I took the foot out my mouth
And shoved it up your backside
From barebacking the Kremlin it fit just fine