Jonathan Young, Caleb Hyles - Gaston lyrics

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston!
Even when taking your lumps
There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there's no man in town half as manly
(Perfect, a pure paragon)

You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team
They'd prefer to be on

Who plays darts like Gaston?
Who breaks hearts like Gaston?
Who’s much more than the sum
Of his parts like Gaston?
As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
My, what a guy, that Gaston!

I needed encouragement thank you, LeFou
Well, there's no one as easy
To bolster as you too much?
Yep

No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match
Nobody bites like Gaston

When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver
And beasts of the field say a prayer
First, I carefully aim for the liver
Then I shoot from behind is that fair?
I don't care

No one hit's like Gaston
Matches wit's like Gaston
In a spitting match
Nobody spit's like Gaston
I'm especially good at expectorating! Spit's
Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge

Who has brains like Gaston?
Entertains like Gaston?
Who can make up these
Endless refrains like Gaston?
I use antlers in all of my decorating

Say it again who's a man among men?
Who's the super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town
Who's got all of it down
And his name's G-A-St
I believe there's another T
It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate
And I've never actually had to
Spell it out loud before

Gaston!