IAmJakeHill, Josh A - Suicidal Thoughts lyrics

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close
My eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying

Why do I even try?
Why do I even write lyrics
About how I'm living the
Life when I'm battling pain and
My demons at night
Trying to find a new outlet
The devil pouncin'
I hear him howlin', my vision cloudin'
Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
Try to be strong when I deal with the pain
Yuh but I'm ditching the coffin
So my family has options
Gotta work till' I'm dead
So that they get the best
Don't wanna set up a bad
Example cause kids looking up
Can't leave in shambles can't make
Them think clocking out's okay
So fuck suicide I'm here to stay

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, tryna
Find the light, nah, man
I'll be out here runnin'
I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down
Find my way out of this hell now
I'll be runnin' now
I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down
Find my way out of this hell now

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close
My eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying

One too many bad thoughts inside me
Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
I'm pressed with time, I'm
Stressed with life, my breath is ice
I guess I might just bottle it
Up some more just like always
Barely standing, crawling down the hallways
Sink into my bed, with death inside my head
Yeah, that note you found I didn't mean it
Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
Never meant to let you down
I've been down and now racing thoughts
Had to drown them out, fuck!
Never giving in I swear to God
No matter how many times I pray to a God
I don't believe in just to see
If I will never wake up
But He called my bluff

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, tryna find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, tryna
Find the light, nah, man
I'll be out here runnin'
I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down
Find my way out of this hell now
I'll be runnin' now
I'll be runnin' from myself now
Gunnin' demons down
Find my way out of this hell now

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close
My eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying

I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close
My eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying