Kaonashi, Patrick Somoulay - Ex-Prayers lyrics

After all these years, I find myself here
Same chances, different feeling
We want what we can't have, I have nothing
I've learned to live with misery
And that's saying something
See, I've been walking on walls
I've been sleeping on ceilings
Just to explain my pain
Just to justify the meaning

After all these years, I find myself here
Same chances, different feeling
We want what we can't have
And I have nothing
I've learned to live with misery
And that's saying something
But what's it saying?
I was always told to be myself
But what if I don't like myself?
What if I just feel so

Insecure, selfish, scared, ugly, embarrassed
And worthless?
Permanent damage made from temporary feelings
I ask myself, was it worth it?
Everybody's happy but me
Everyone has someone but me
My life is a lose, lose, lose, lose
Lose situation

I lose track of time
When I think of the past
I lose my sense of direction
When I think about the future
So I'm screaming out all my ex-prayers
All the bullshit that got me here
I wish I was a better person
I wish she loved me
See, it's all pretend in the end
It's all make believe
All those things I wished so hard for
I didn't need
And all the people I tried to impress
That just looked down on me