K.Flay - Carry On lyrics

With each stroke of my pen I connect
Reflect on what was gained, what was learned
What was left of the shards of a lifetime
Capsized I was broken into fragments
Scoured the cabinets
For the bottles that were hidden
Were there messages youd given me?
Im your one and only legacy
Its been six years since we last met
I no longer dream of you
The visions gone from my head
Once found in those brutally surreal scenes
Where your spirit lingers
Im incapable of seeing
Furthermore Im fairly doubtful that you
Are little more than dust
Atoms now recycled in God I cannot trust
Yet I must
Where is your faith when you need it?
Tell me, where is Christ when you do not
Believe in angels or in demons?
Emaciated figure, my father his body ravaged
But still we managed
To make it many years before
The liquor pulled the trigger
Im stranded I haven't forgotten
How I thought that
I would cope once I was bigger
My feets my only carriage but
I stumble as I tread
Pages written in a book that
You and I once read, they said

Not yet but soon I will be gone
Carry on carry on

Its difficult to say exactly what I feel
Lost in some translation and theres
Scratches on the reel of a black and white
A silent movie usually Im the one
To say the soundtracks flawed
But in this case the melancholy
Draws me to the background of the photograph
I hope it lasts this feeling
That youre watching from above
That you know I dedicate the
Music to your love
Guitar resonates with your doomed fate
While I strum I contemplate
I was brought up amidst the vodka
It poisoned you and I was forced to watch my
Father slowly die over a
Toilet filled with puke
Always afraid Id wake up to your corpse
As a scared kid tried to keep
My eyes from the floor don't look down
In fact shut your eyelids entirely
The knowledge that youll never get to
Know mes got me crying
Death signifies the loss of a fragile life
For every moment that you miss
I send to what I hope
Is Heaven your daughters kiss
We can't speak
Pray to no one in particular my wish
Will one day meet your cheek
Hold my head up high but I stumble as I tread
Pages written in a book that
You and I once read, they said

Not yet but soon you will be gone
Carry on carry on

Channeling the memories that I
Wrote down in a
Notebook that I kept after your death
Bereft, frightened that in a short
Time I would lose sight
Of the subtleties of our
Relationship all the reminders
The way your leather jacket smelled
Of cigarettes and booze
Inhale the fragrance of an addict
I was bound to lose im still your child
Im still your child you are my teacher
I learned how to be the person that you
Couldn't even though I care for you
Im wary I will replicate the
Mistakes you made in youth
That carried on, imprinted in my mind
I am playing your guitar
Do the chords transcend time and space?
Wasted potential I know it wasn't
Meant to end like this, with you lifeless
In an urn full of ashes
Gashes that are reopened every time
A word is spoken
For you live and breathe within the parts of
Me deep down that are forever broken
Father, rest in peace but I
Stumble as I tread
Pages written in a book that
You and I once read, they said

Not yet but soon well all be gone
Carry on carry on

Go forth and so on and so forth
Still I miss you