La Dispute - A Broken Jar lyrics

So, here goes: one last letter now
One last attempt to make sense
Who have I been writing to?
I’m not sure anymore
What have I been trying to accomplish?
It’s a mystery, I guess self made secrecy?
Things get cloudy and now
All these stories and
The struggle as an undercurrent, both
Get blurry by the minute, both get blurrier
So which voice is this then that I’ve been
Writing in? Is it my own or his?
Has there ever been a difference between
Them at all? I don’t know

I don’t know i don’t know
One last desperate plea one
Last verse to sing
One last laugh track to accompany the comedy
Have I been losing it
Completely? Losing sanity?
Or has it been fabricated
Fashioned by the worst of me?
I know I knocked the table over
Because I watched the jar break
And I’ve been trying to repair
It every single stupid day
But won’t the cracks still show no
Matter how well it’s assembled?
Can I ever just decide to let
It die and let you go?
All my motives and every
Single narrative below reflects
That moment when you it broke
And will I never let it go no matter what?

Now I am throwing all the shards away
Discarding every fragment
And fumbling uncertain
Towards a curtain call that no
One wants to happen
That no one’s going to clap for at all
But that still has to be