Levi The Poet - Resentment lyrics

It’s like the spirit answered
All of my prayers
And now I resent him for it well, i used to
Take so much time for myself to just sit and
Be silent, I haven’t heard
That sound in years
But, I’ve replaced it with a lot of
Voices that claimed to be god

The first poem I ever wrote
Was about San Francisco
And the homeless and what I was told I
Was twelve years old and I rhymed "poor
White bro" with "chips of Nabisco" given to
A beggar as he pushed his
Cart down the road that boy got
Buried at Height & Asbury, beneath the Ben
& Jerry’s and a big city and a
Pretty girl is the only thing that
Gets his heart to beating again but
This all used to be for


Nothing and no one, and
Now I shout transparency, but I miss all of
My secrets i would rather know pain
Than be numb, but then again
We asked for the opiates to
Numb the pain for us

Will I always fall asleep to dream
To of mending up my wounds
Then wake to spend the day reliving
Every bruise for the sake of
A sad song, or a sweet repose
Or seeing the blood flow from
The stitching like it were a
Cavalry of demons in retreat
Promising to leave me alone?
They’re liars the
Release is never as satisfying as
The promise to fix what’s been sewn
We get bottled up like the
Alcohol gets bottled up and then we
Bottle it up in us
And I search for ways to define
Myself by some skeptical lack of trust
Because if I can’t trust in anything
Then I’m
Not to blame for my lack of movement
And I can abuse everyone’s pity
And I can convolute it

My sister used to sing when she
Was younger, but the world, it got at her
Throat, and she put that dream away while
Coming of age acted as a serpent
And questioned her home when I was
Young, I wanted to be a cowboy
And then I wanted to be Superman
And then I wanted to
Wear my cowboy boots over
My Superman costume, and
Be Cowman… well I am a cow, man
All of my fantasies about my wife to be are
Based upon things I should have never seen
(said all our fantasies about our wives to be
Are based on positions that should have
Never been) Idolized by our eyes – worshipped
As though they gave us life
But that’s the nature of
The beast, and he still squirms next
To wisdom as she screams
Clawing for me on the
Streets and how does life begin as a seed
That turns to scream out for something
Like someone misnamed "gift" for "to
Be inherently found wanting"?

If there is so much joy to be had
Then tell me where I
Went wrong, because for all the times
I've tried to satisfy my mom
I still cannot write
A joyful song "So, mom, I
Tried, and near October
I thought that I could
Do it, but November threw us in to
A whirlwind again, and come January
I knew it: all the things I told my
Fans about the hope that I had found
Are lying in a hotel bathroom, in a
Puddle of blood on the ground" And someone
Will love it because it’s honest
And someone will hate it
Because it’s crude, but as for me: for every
Time I give my testimony to a crowd
I'll lie awake at night
And wonder about whether
Or not I've told the truth god
Forgive me i believe a lot of lies that come
From the mouths of a lot of good liars
(namely: me) and I'd rather tie a millstone
Around my neck and throw myself
Into the sea than
Perpetuate some emotionally-driven
Blasphemy that you don't care for
The suffering suffering servant
Give your children eyes to see
The wonders that you
Have for them, and ears to hear
The direction for their wandering
Wandering feet

Grieve with me!
(Will you grieve with me?) Oh at the cross
The promise we receive:
"I will grieve with you with
Groanings too deep for words, i
Will sympathize with the
Temptation to believe
The lies that you have heard
I will mourn over the loss
Of finite family and friends
And I will defeat death so that you will
Know that death is not the end"
So at the cross of Christ I know
That the bonds of sin are broken
That they bar the gates of hell
For me and heaven's doors are
Open as wide as my
Sweet Savior's arms were stretched
Out when he died, and that love has
Defeated death with a life for me
To hope in at the
Cross of Christ I know that
Despair has been removed, that
It drowns beneath the crushing weight of
Hope as found in you
As blood flows and puddles to
Cover every self-inflicted bruise
Murder becomes salvation
The resurrected truth at the cross of
Christ I know that anger
Has found it's vengeance
That righteousness became sin
For me and that only at
The remembrance of a man
Acquainted with sorrows do I stand
Forgiven of my resentment, as
Wrath and justice turn aside to crucify
My defendant at the cross
Of Christ I know that shame
Has lost it's place, that
Jesus Christ endured the curse and
Scorned all the disgrace, and
Atoned before the throne as death
Fled without a trace
That I might enter in and look
Full on his wonderful face