Locksmith, Leah Tysse - Hardest Song Ever lyrics

Father worked nights, mother all day
There were no gripes, we would all pray
We were close knit, it was so strict
Well in most folks, that was OK
I was so young, pre-first grade
Them condone me alone, it was no way
But when it overlapped, it left an open gap
Call a babysitter, time to go play
And she was young too, and it was fun too
Get away from her home
So she would come through
On to a neighbors house
They had the favorite couch
That everybody loved, and we would run to
But it was uncool, what we would succumb to
The shit we did see, becoming numb to
This wasn't untrue, what no-one knew
The shit that she would do to me
Nothing else could undo
Young and unaware, dealing with the strain
There's no reason to lie
Cause there's nothing to gain she told me
"Strip down no need to feel ashamed'
She brought another child, she said
"Let's play a game"
My stomach's in a twist, what you expect
Shit i'm barely five or six I
Don't know what sex is
I'm giving y'all the truth so
I can set it right
This is the hardest song I had to ever write

All that lays, locked in me
Wasn't mine to hold on to The
Hardest song I could ever write
And though it plagues, a part of me
Don't want to leave but I got to
The hardest song I could ever write

And the memory I suppressed it
Depression is what's
Pressing that's what the stress did
I pushed away any woman I could connect wit
That's the shit you do when
You deal with being molested
Infested with impatience I started aching
Hatred and deep guilt was
The deadliest combination
Am I scarred, am I flawed, am I gay then?
I've always loved women
That can't be the explanation
How do I take the rage, bury it deep inside
Cover it with a smile
But eventually it will rise
Eventually it will tie
A knot in your soul and boast
Then you just end up hurting the
People you love the most
Fuck it I'll let it fly, nothing to set aside
It's nothing for me to lose
I'm already dead inside
Already said my peace a piece
Of me fled in spite
Let's set it right this the
Hardest shit I'mma ever write

All that lays, locked in me
Wasn't mine to hold on to The
Hardest song I could ever write
And though it plagues, a part of me
Don't want to leave
But, I got to The hardest
Song I could ever write
The hardest song I could ever write
Don't want to leave, but I got to

We are the victim of school
Teachers and cool preachers
Youth coaches and catholic priest
That do breach us
And violated our innocence from within
Now that im grown I know that
It prolly happened to them
A cycle of sickness where the only eyewitness
Is so terrified they rather
Lie than admit this or rather omit this
And deal with the strain too
But, your never truly free until you
Put this in plain view
And I know it's like the hardest
Thing in the world to do
But, if you don't then the person
Who did it controls you, and owns you
But, I got my chance to set it right
This the hardest song I could ever write

All that lays, locked in me
Wasn't mine to hold on to The
Hardest song I could ever write
And though it plagues, a part of me
Don't want to leave but I got to
The hardest song I could ever write