Louis Logic - Resume lyrics

Yeah, yeah this is Louis fucking Logic
Coming through your speakers and
Your sound system with The Molemen
Yo, my man Panik laced the track for y'all
You better bounce like basketball
We on our own shit like cats and dogs
So check it out y'all, check it out y'all
Check it out, what?

I always get the job cause I know what to do
Unless the odds are good
They find out that I'm a jerk
Then I'm like "Fuck you too!"
I'm a much improved Superman
Plus a lover too
With the ability to snatch your
Silly slut from under you
It's such a wonderful life
Being someone who writes
Of things that go bump in the night
And make you run for your life
I like to hunt with a knife, capture and kill
One of the punks that you
Might find on the mic
Cause, I slash rappers at will
My eyes act as a filter
To expose the pussy under
Your tough guy exterior and
I spill guts with precision of a taxidermist
Who confessed to gun threats
Up in Catholic churches
That's why my wax is worshiped
In the States and abroad
My place is secured for the
World's most tasteless award
Cause the further I stray from the Lord
The more underground and hot
Because my sound will win Satan's applause

You don't know a man who can get the job done
Before the cops come with
Bulletproof vests and shotguns
You don't know a man who can get the job done
Before a chicken's pop comes home
With his five sons
And you don't know a man who
Can get the job done
And make the snot run from
Niggas noses when they sob, son
And y'all don't know a man
That's doper than me cause by comparison
All others are hopeless MC's

Y'all should know that I was qualified
To swallow lies and piss truth serum
Cause if Blue hear 'em, talking shit
Do spear 'em
So get too near 'em and get sent on your way
The Heavenly Gates when my pens on my page
I meant what I say
Cause, I lecture like Lieutenant Frank Slade
So expect that I can bless the mic
While juggling three pinless grenades
I'm well versed in disproving theory
On 'The Bell Curve' as Logic L serves on
Committees that expel herbs
Nerds need not apply
It's one or two dudes that'll tell
You he can run with Lou
But first he gotta lie
Sure it's somewhat true, I'll probably die
But until the vodka dries and
The joints are through
It's probably not tonight
My shelf life's longer than a
Bottle of Amstel Light
Held inside a very tight cooler
That was well iced
I seldom write a verse that
Wouldn't melt a mic
So when my phrase sets the stage ablaze
You see a fire engine's welcome lights

So let's just say that I
Got the freshest resume
Cause, I could catch a case in
Any place and then escape
And get away riding Debo's bike
Despite the fact that the type of
Stuff I write in raps police don't like
And you could still catch a cop saying
"He's so nice"
I'll never stop fighting back and
I don't need no mic
Cause, I might just snatch a bullhorn
Right out of a squad car
And scream a rhyme so loud the
Sound waves scramble the OnStar
If any question remains
I use professional aim
And target the section of brain
That kept it aflame
And test him again to see
If he's a non-believer
But, I bet that he's changed
When my songs coming through
His mom's receiver
I'm a non-achiever, I don't have to try
I can hold two mics like
Chopsticks and catch a fly
So ask me why I'm making rap records
I'm liver than fuck
Want to know why you don't
Ask yourself, "Why do I suck?"