MC Chris - Fuckin' Up My Christmas lyrics

See this is the way I meet girls y'know
I'm like being cool
And, I've always had this problem
With girls and that is
I'm sure ev-everybody has with members
Of the opposite sex
In this case that would be a girl
And uhh, y'know, y you start talking to 'em
And you can be real cool and
Real confidant up to a point
Then you start to ask them out or something
And it's like
You lose control of your lips y'know
And you get nervous and
Real mealy-mouthed and y'know it's like
"yeah I'll be goin' to London
For a couple of weeks and then umm, hmm
I'll be back here in two weeks no
I gotta stop in New York for
Six days for some business there
I'll be back here in about uhh, three weeks
So listen when I get back
I was wondering if maybe
You might mea-UHH" laughter

Ladies that are fat, ladies that are skinny
Ladies that are all night on my jimmy
Ladies that won't charge me a buck-fiddy
Just wanna get with me cause I'm so pretty
Bitties, who wanna bite off a little sum'thin
Best part's the top like a Drew Barry muffin
Bitties that wanna turn on the love oven
And cook up a casserole of Stove Top stuffin
This type of sum'thin causin
Fear with my gumption
Takin out my beaker cause I'm Honeydew
Bunsen i got ya jonesing for my potion
Got my finger on the button
That's why MC be struttin
Wish I could erase this erection
Honies comin at me from every direction
Lookin for the Love Connection
A stinky sweaty sexin, with no protection
So line up the contestants
I'll open up their drawers like the
Kid in The Sixth Sense
I won't persist this distance
Gotta get up in this
She fuckin up my Christmas!

Fuckin up my Christmas is a new way of saying
Fucking up my shit
This is not so much a holiday-oriented song
As it is an exclamation of dismay at
The sight of a beautiful woman

She fuckin up my Christmas, biz-nitch
Catchin glimpses in tiny tidbit's
I was fine till you was in my business
Wit'cha you volleyball booty and
Your frilly pink tit's
Yo what up wit dis, it's mc chris
M in my name stand for Monolith
No it's not a lisp, you're a finalist
Here's a sash for that ass it says dominance
Now here's my hotel key and some common sense
Get up to my suite or you're incompetent
Do you wanna be a winner or the opposite?
So lick them lips, drop them shit's
And step on it

"So listen uhh
You wanna come over to my place?
Well look just in case hell does freeze over
Where can I reach you?" laughter
Okay! whistling and applause
You people are sick!