Milo - The Ballad of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy ​ lyrics

Spelling friends with quotation marks make
You look like an asshole
I'm half man, half rapper, half tadpole
It depresses me I can use Google
Maps to find your house
I swear to goodness the internet
Takes all the adventure out

Hi, it's your favorite spoken word deacon
I very well could've been one of
The last of the Mohicans
The dude you never invited to
Your parties on the weekends
Who your favorite blogger nominated
For loquacious public speaking
If a telephone is smart
Then I no longer wanna be
Struggling to find a way to hold on
To what's right in front of me
Hanging dusty hammocks in the attic
To escape the racket
Retreating in to my mind
To forget the straight-jacket

I wonder if these other rappers spend
Too much time on AssHub
But, I wish I was a merman so
I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown

I don't know anything about nothing
Which is why I am master of everything
This is what you fail to see
A filthy mirage of simple
I'll sit under a fake tree while
You worry about Nicki Minaj's nipples
Basking in my irrelevance
Simply for the hell of it
I've got these ugly hands so
It's impossible to give back-rubs
Since Rob passed it's hard not
To be scared of flash-floods i wonder if-

I wonder if these other rappers spend
Too much time on Asshub
But, I wish I was a merman so
I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown

I'm far from the heroism
Of Christopher McCandless
Merely a young man taking
These visions for granted
A notebook operates as a lined paper flask
Take a swig and then you pass
Writing rhymes during class
Maybe we should've given Milton
His stapler back
These Wisconsin winters promulgate shivers
To my pelvis at a drive-in diner and
I'm listening to Elvis
Holding palaver with Andy and
Wishing we were elvish
I'm sorry I'm so selfish
I'm sorry I'm so selfish

I wonder if these other rappers spend
Too much time on Asshub
But, I wish I was a merman so
I could fall asleep in the bathtub
And I would never drown
And I would never drown
I wonder if these other rappers spend
Too much time on Asshub
But, I wish I was a merman so
I could fall asleep in the bathtub