NO PANTY - Mother's Mark lyrics

Wonder what I was thinking
Wonder what I was feeling
Sitting in my mother’s belly
Waiting, praying that I'm healthy
I use to hear them argue
They talking a different language
My father not from this country
My mother yeah that's my planet
That's my earth in her womb I was planning
Can I make through 9 months i could manage
Every time I was hungry she felt a kick
Moved around a lil bit when's my due date?
I'm tryna make my mark
I don't care what you name me
Just give me Heart
And I don't care how you school me
Just make me smart
It's real dark where I'm at
But, I'm warm, curled up
I didn't like dinner last night
So you throw it up
And I feel I'm getting bigger, Mami
How you holding up?
When you cry, I can taste it
When you mad, I can take it
When you laugh, it was music to my ears
I just hope I make you proud
Hope I make it out, Mami
What if you think I'm ugly?
What if nobody's love me?
I'm tired of the waiting
I know you real inpatient
Then I see a light at the end of the tunnel
I hear screams of pain
The pressure is building
Could this be my due date?
Feel somebody pulling my leg
But, I ain't ready to go
I wanna stay please, where I'm at?
I'm confused who is you?
My thoughts before the first time I cried
And opened my eyes
The bio of an unborn child

Waddup, Mami came home for ya home cookin'
I'm on the road
But I found space in between bookings
On the patio just sippin' some rum
Talking about how far we've come
Like remember when you rolled
Up on my stepmoms?
And beat her ass 'cause she
Tried to overstep Moms?
I was embarrassed, and sick of the narrative
But i know you never ya
Got glass slippers or carriages
Disadvantages, two failed marriages
I can't imagine how losing both
Of your parents is but, you went through it
Not around it or beneath it
You just trekked through it
And you kept moving
If it stormed, you just cleared the debris
Took a graveyard shift, when you had a degree
But something happened
See ya husband tried to have me
And the sad fact is
He made a victim out of me
A twisted little sickness
A statistic out of me
Grown now, I can't seem to get this out of me
I told you what he did and
How he how tried to deceive
First thing you said was, "Nah
I find that hard believe"
And that killed me to the core, Mami
Killed me to the core
Made feel like I wasn't protected no more
Took me ten years to let you
Know how angry I was
Lost in the metropolis, replacing your love
I was trapped in situations
Got mistaken for love
It was all manifestations of
Foresakin your love
Walking around with a black nimbus above me
That's when I left to NY, I tried run free
Escaping my past 'cause it was ugly
And to this day
I fuckin' struggle to love me
But, you received it and told
Me you didn't mean it
Listen to my grievances
Promised you never seen it
And I forgive you, Mami, do it for both of us
I know you feel the guilt and
We been thru this shit enough
Enough to build a bridge over troubled waters
My eyes is watering
You know I gotta be ya daughter
The one you used to call ya little negra
I listen to you even when you being extra
Me, you, and Abuela the trifecta
Since we been healing
I'm seeing the whole spectrum
And I'm talking to God again too
He said sometimes you gotta guard
For your guardian too
You did your the best with your
Lemons and now it's clear
'Cause, I lived under your heart
For almost a whole year
So I could never not be an extension of you
Tears streaming as I pen this
Sending blessings to you
It's like I understood her and
Then I suddenly found me
The reason I ain't waiting for a
Nigga to crown me Mami

A song to my favorite, look, Ma we made it
It shoulda happened sooner and I hate it
You licked your thumb wiped the
Cold helped me bundle up
Yawning waiting for the morning bus
The queen of my castle
Flipping burgers at a White Castle
My Daddy used to drive right past you
I know how that must've made you feel
Still you raised me real
And I'm your baby still
We never was straight, stress in your face
But, you'd chef up a plate
And somehow make everything great
In the past I would talk
About your drug problem
But, you never made your problem my problem
I'm sorry I ended up hustling
Carjacking, gun busting, you was so disgusted
You was so disgusted
But my choices wasn't your fault
I don't even know why I stopped writing
I always knew this was the way out
I prolonged you on that block crying
People think I do this rapping for me
Actually I want you as happy as happy can be
Every single project
I think about them projects
That life's too simple
You need your own complex
Appreciation's an understatement
I hate the thought of
Lowering you under pavement
My momma, my best friend, my true love
I'm a stop by later and give you two hugs
I know you proud of me on TV
We laugh about how we couldn't see the TV
Shit is crazy though
I'm talking about my favorite
Lady on the radio