Original Broadway Cast of The Band’s Visit, Etai Benson, John Cariani, Katrina Lenk - Welcome to Nowhere lyrics

Let me tell you about Petah Tikva
Such a city, everybody loves it!
Lots of fun, lots of art, lots of culture
That's Petah Tikva, with a "P"

Where you are, this is not Petah Tikva
Such a city, nobody knows it!
Not a fun, not an art, not a culture
This is Bet Hatikvah, with a "B"

Like in "boring"

Like in "barren"

Like in "bullshit"

Like in "bland"

Like in "basically bleak and
Beige and blah, blah, blah"

Stick a pin in a map of the desert
Build a road to the middle of the desert
Pour cement on the spot in the desert
That's Bet Hatikvah

Welcome to Nowhere!

Behold, where there was once only desert
Is the town of Bet
Hatikvah see, apartments! Gaze upon my
Cafe! While you're here
Be sure to go back and forth between my
Cafe and the apartments so much to explore!

Pick a sand hill of your choosing

Take some bricks that no one's using

Build some buildings, put some Jews in

Then blah, blah, blah

Bet Hatikvah!

Here you are, in renowned Bet Hatikvah!
Go ahead, look around Bet Hatikvah!
Lucky you, you have found Bet Hatikvah!
Welcome to Nowhere!

With a "B!"

Welcome to Nowhere!