Original Broadway Cast of Thoroughly Modern Millie, Marc Kudisch, Sutton Foster - The Speed Test lyrics

Take a letter to a Mr john Hudson
Hudson's Floor Wax you will
Find an invoice in the file for
The address "Dear Mr hudson, " colon:

My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
So I'm writing you a letter
To demand an explanation

When the floor wax that we bought
From you arrived here Monday morning
We discovered upon usage that the
Fumes should have a warning

Since the only possibility is that
Your wax is rancid
I request a full refund of
All the money we advanced
And unless you can convince me you've
Improved the floor wax batter
We will take our business elsewhere, so
I hope you solve this matter
(spoken) how's my speed, Miss Dillmount?
A little slow, perhaps

Ah!
Enclosed you'll find a small container of
The stuff I talk about
Just carefully remove the lid and take
A whiff if you've a doubt
I'm sure you wouldn't want me
To alert the daily papers
With the news of how our office
Was affected by your vapours

Which is why I choose to write
To you a confidential letter
Full of strong recommendation that you
Make your floor wax better
I just hope it won't require us
To have our floor relaid and
If it does you may expect a bill
Sincerely, Trevor Graydon
Now, read that back to me please

Certainly "Dear Mr hudson, " colon: (sung)
My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
So I'm writing you a letter
To demand an explanation
When the floor wax that we bought
From you arrived here Monday morning
We discovered upon usage that the
Fumes should have a warning

Since the only possibility is that
Your wax is rancid
I request a full refund of
All the money we advanced

Nice!

And unless you can convince me you've
Improved the floor wax batter
We will take our business elsewhere, so
I hope you solve this matter

Not half bad continue please

Enclosed you'll find a small container of
The stuff I talk about
Just carefully remove the lid and take
A whiff if you've a doubt
I'm sure you wouldn't want me
To alert the daily papers
With the news of how our office
Was affected by your vapours

Which is why I choose to write
To you a confidential letter
Full of strong recommendation that you
Make your floor wax better
I just hope it won't require us
To have our floor relaid and
If it does you may expect a bill
Sincerely, Trevor Graydon

Miss Dillmount, may I speak frankly?

Yes?

If I could be so lucky as
To have a good stenographer
To keep this place as up-to date as
Her short skirt and bobbed coiffure

I wouldn't have to worry 'bout
Our soured office planking
And could concentrate on generating
Profit's ripe for banking

That is why I'm testing you
With this outrageous correspondence
Which I don't intend to actually
Mail to the respondents

So if you can make sense
Of my unintelligible patter
Then the job is yours and Hudson's
Floor Wax really doesn't matter!

Hudson's Floor Wax doesn't matter?
Matter, matter, matter, matter
Hudson's Floor Wax doesn't matter?
Matter, matter, matter, matter

Hudson's Floor Wax doesn't matter!
Matter, matter, matter, matter
Hudson's Floor Wax doesn't matter!

Hudson's Floor Wax doesn't matter!
Matter, matter, matter, matter

Now, I want that letter on my desk in
Two minutes flat man your machine! Go!
Time! "Dear Mr hudson, "

Colon

My eyes are fully open to my awful situation
So I'm writing you a letter
To demand an explanation
When the floor wax that we bought
From you arrived here Monday morning
We discovered upon usage that the
Fumes should have a warning
Since the only possibility is that
The wax is rancid i request a full refund of
All the money we advanced
And unless you can convince me you've
Improved the floor wax batter
We will take our business elsewhere so
I hope you solve this matter

So I hope you solve this matter
So I hope you solve this matter
So I hope you solve this matter
Matter, matter, matter, matter

Going on

Enclosed you'll find a small container
Of the stuff I talk about
Just carefully remove the lid
And take a whiff if you've a doubt
I'm sure you wouldn't want me to
Alert the daily papers
With the news of how our office
Was affected by your vapours
Which is why I choose to write to you
A confidential letter
Full of strong recommendation
That you make your floor wax better
I just hope it won't require us
To have our floor relaid and
If it does you may expect a bill
Sincerely, Trevor Graydon!

You have made the team Miss Dillmount!
You have made the team Miss Dillmount!
Ell me where my desk is when we eat lunch
How much I'll be paid, and
Nice to meet you, I know we'll be friends
Just call me Millie Graydon

Millie Graydon? I mean Dillmount!
Millie Dillmount? Someday Graydon!
Graydon? Dillmount? Dillmount?
Graydon? Graydon? Dillmount? Graydon! Ahh!