Rite Hook, Madchild - I've Died Before lyrics

I wanna eighty, who said that, my brain maybe
But it felt like another personality
Yellin' at me
Am I crazy cause I seen some shit
Ponderin' the ultimate
Thoughts in a evil grip
Kick the routine on an even scale
Cause if I'm sick I'll fuck you up
For a piece of a pill started off sweet
Now it's like I'm needing to steal
Never wanted to do it but
Better believe I will i would wake up like
Strike one now I gotta call
Up that dude on you
Said I wanted one but I had the cash
That's strike two
Fuck strike three I'm tryin' to shoot a few
Hah now my only option is to pull off it and
Hopefully get a gold watch
And bunch of necklaces and if I don't
I robbing Flacco for a whole bundle
Of dope and poppin' skin

The world's so different from me
I can feel a
Change comin' over me, I don't feel the same
When I've tried before
Still have a tough time looking in the mirror
Still sweatin' like a pig
I can feel the flame
It's like I've died before

I'm a cheater, a liar, a zombie, a monster
Droolin' on my couch
Watchin' flicks barely conscious
Cigarette burns on my clothes, on my boxers
Drop seven grand on a bag full of Oxys
Touched by an angel
Then you wake up depressed on a cold planet
Hidin' in the corner
I was laughin' at myself i'm a one weight
Third class passenger to hell
Yeah I'm self destructive
I'm castin' up a spell lying bastard
Mentally a disaster you can tell
Broken teeth, overweight
And my lips are purple
Madchild, I am stuck in this vicious circle
Those aren't no damn mashed potatoes aight
Another fuckin' day that I have
Stayed up all night strippers and coke
I got dudes who will murder for me
Now I feel like a bottom
Feeder stuck in purgatory

I'm stuck in rut with no luck
Left with myself in a world with no trust
And I'll never get it back
That's what it seems like
Sleepin' in the shelter
Least it ain't the street
Lettin' sleet pelt ya please help yourself
That's what they're sayin' to me
Screamin' it, losin' what you have
I'm achievin' it
My hearts barely beating in the
Year that I'm breathin'

What's the definition of relief, I tell ya
A five minute rush but it don't last forever
Yah now you feel better but you'll never
Get ahead of what you're runnin' from
Just piles up right front of him
Someone's gotta play the game and bat 400
At least that's what I think
I'm really buggin'
Getting thrown out before I get to first base
What's it gonna take to get
Out of the rat race