Sage Francis - Pitchers of silence lyrics

I never held a funeral for that
Big part of me that died
I need to put these thoughts to rest I
Need to find a peace of mind
I need to piece my mind
Find a piece of mine to rest in
Need to find someone to confide in
And let the rest in need to start restin'
Needless to say, i couldn't hide
Fifteen grown men shouldn't cry
Had i known then what i know now
Had i thought now what i knew then
I might still be human
With all the little stupid fix-ins as I
Fix sins and vixens vick souls
Stitch clothes for the characters they
Play then switch roles
Nail me to the cross dress
The holy cloth costs less
I'd toss less If i still had your
Soft breasts to rest my head on
Since you've been gone I recalled my
Issues with problems and hate
But i can't exactly remember
The model or make
Now glass bottles break in my death grip
I'm about to take the next quick
Exit and end this head trip
My bed's stripped of
It's blankets, comforters
Pillows and sheets
But i might have to peel off all my skin
To remove your scent in order to sleep
I had my highs and lows
When on top I let you peek out over my nose
Sitting on my shoulders and i suppose
If i had a backbone, you might still be here
My skin is filthy
From my lows when you weren't there
But to keep from feeling guilty
I collected the dirt
(collected the dirt) , kept it piling up
Now mr feel nothing
(mr feel nothing) saves his tears
Inside of a cup and he drinks
(and he drinks) and he forgets
That he's an asshole
Jealous of his ghosts and doubts
He even has a soul
My secret pleasures have my
Inner demons gossiping
I'm a ghost writer for the horrorcore
Lyrics my personal monsters sing
I'm sitting in a stranger's tub
With all my clothes on, shivering
Considering the dangers of love
They get half of what i have to give, if that
It's all about the packaging
They're distracted by the gift wrap
Predictable, easy to manipulate
They're foreshadow puppets and i'm waiting
For their strings to break
The pillars that once held up my
Halfway house have been taken out
I'm in my last days now
There's a change coming soon
I just want to crawl back
Into my mother's womb
I need a comfort zone but obviously
I need to find another home
To call my own, and always return to
And i want it to be you (i want it to be you)
I sit and stare zone out
I think a lot and never sleep
Creating memories to remember and then
I forget to eat
Went to the street you used to live on
Staring at the bedroom window
Of your old home
With puppy eyes waiting for god
To throw me a bone
I'd settle for one more goodbye kiss
While i settle for less
I'm unsettled at best
Sulking while abandoning settlements
Insulting my companions
Intelligence conversing with baby talk
Practicing mind games rehearsing
With playful thought
It's the way we fought that made
My blood bubble then turn cold
When you made me walk through rain and
Mud puddles on a dirt road
It left me so messy
Forget me not I've got more
Mud to sling… shot
"through the heart, and you’re to blame
You give love a bad name"