The Dead Milkmen - Stuart lyrics
[The Dead Milkmen - Stuart lyrics]
You know what, Stuart? I like you
You're not like the other people here
In the trailer park
Oh, don't go get me wrong, they're
Fine people, they're good Americans
But they're content
To sit back, maybe watch a little
Mork and Mindy on channel 57
Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer
They're good, fine people
Stuart but they don't know what the
Queers are doing to the soil
You know that Jonny Wurster kid
The kid that delivers papers
In the neighborhood?
He's a fine kid some of the
Neighbors say he smokes crack
But, I don't believe it anyway
For his tenth birthday, all he wanted
Was a burrow owl he kept
Bugging his old man "Dad
Get me a burrow owl! I'll never ask
For anything else as long as
I live!" So the guy breaks down
And buys him a burrow owl
Anyway, 10: 30 the other night, I go out
In my yard and there's the Wurster kid
Looking up in the tree! I
Say "What are you looking
For?" And he says "I'm looking
For my burrow owl!"
And I say "Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!
Everybody knows the burrow owl lives in a
Hole in the ground! Why the hell do you
Think they call it a burrow owl, anyway!?"
Now Stuart
Do you think a kid like that is going to
Know what the queers are doing to the soil?
I first became aware of all
This about ten years
Ago, the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr
Died you know that carnival comes into
Town every year? Well this year
They came through with a
Ride called The Mixer
The man said "Keep your head and
Arms inside The Mixer at all times" But
Bill Jr, he was a daredevil
Just like his old man!
He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody
Look at me! Look at me!"
POW! He was decapitated! They
Found his head over by
The snow cone concession!
A few days after that
I open up the mail And there's a
Pamphlet in there from Pueblo, Colorado, and
It's addressed to Bill Jr
And it's entitled Do You Know What the
Queers Are Doing to Our Soil?
Now Stuart
If you look at the soil around any
Large US city with a
Big underground homosexual population
Des Moines Iowa
For example look at the soil around
Des Moines, Stuart, you can't build on it
You can't grow anything in it
The government says it's due to
Poor farming, but I know
What's really going on, stuart!
I know it's the queers! They're
In it with the
Aliens! They're building landing strips
For gay Martians, i swear to God!
You know what, Stuart? I like you
You're not like the other people
Here in the trailer park
You're not like the other people here
In the trailer park
Oh, don't go get me wrong, they're
Fine people, they're good Americans
But they're content
To sit back, maybe watch a little
Mork and Mindy on channel 57
Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer
They're good, fine people
Stuart but they don't know what the
Queers are doing to the soil
You know that Jonny Wurster kid
The kid that delivers papers
In the neighborhood?
He's a fine kid some of the
Neighbors say he smokes crack
But, I don't believe it anyway
For his tenth birthday, all he wanted
Was a burrow owl he kept
Bugging his old man "Dad
Get me a burrow owl! I'll never ask
For anything else as long as
I live!" So the guy breaks down
And buys him a burrow owl
Anyway, 10: 30 the other night, I go out
In my yard and there's the Wurster kid
Looking up in the tree! I
Say "What are you looking
For?" And he says "I'm looking
For my burrow owl!"
And I say "Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!
Everybody knows the burrow owl lives in a
Hole in the ground! Why the hell do you
Think they call it a burrow owl, anyway!?"
Now Stuart
Do you think a kid like that is going to
Know what the queers are doing to the soil?
I first became aware of all
This about ten years
Ago, the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr
Died you know that carnival comes into
Town every year? Well this year
They came through with a
Ride called The Mixer
The man said "Keep your head and
Arms inside The Mixer at all times" But
Bill Jr, he was a daredevil
Just like his old man!
He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody
Look at me! Look at me!"
POW! He was decapitated! They
Found his head over by
The snow cone concession!
A few days after that
I open up the mail And there's a
Pamphlet in there from Pueblo, Colorado, and
It's addressed to Bill Jr
And it's entitled Do You Know What the
Queers Are Doing to Our Soil?
Now Stuart
If you look at the soil around any
Large US city with a
Big underground homosexual population
Des Moines Iowa
For example look at the soil around
Des Moines, Stuart, you can't build on it
You can't grow anything in it
The government says it's due to
Poor farming, but I know
What's really going on, stuart!
I know it's the queers! They're
In it with the
Aliens! They're building landing strips
For gay Martians, i swear to God!
You know what, Stuart? I like you
You're not like the other people
Here in the trailer park