The Dead Milkmen - When I Get to Heaven lyrics
[The Dead Milkmen - When I Get to Heaven lyrics]
If I go to Heaven it'll probably be a slum
And all the pretty angels just
Might be packing guns
And if I see St peter will
He hit me up for cash
Will I find the road to Jesus or
Just lose him in the trash
The Shaggs were right
You're never going to please, anybody
Not in this world
If I go to Hell I might find it very dull
Like an Amway convention or
An endless shopping mall
When all the innocent demons want to
Poke me with a fork or just put me in a taxi
And send me to New York
Scientists proved it years ago
The Shaggs were much better than the Beatles
Maybe I'll return as an iguana
And lie upon a beach down in the Bahamas
Although ignored in their day
The Shaggs are now recognised as
The geniuses they were
I just wanna know what happens when you die
Do you walk down in a hole
Or float up to the sky
Is it just a waste of water
When your widow cries?
Oh don't tell me you've never
Heard of the Shaggs?
If the atheists are right then I
Have no need to worry
For there is no great being
Whose favour I must curry
And I'll be going nowhere once they
Lay me in the earth
So why waste a Sunday by going to church?
If you really wanted to
You could run out right now
And buy a Shaggs record
If the atheists are wrong then I've
Got a bill that's due
So should I be a Christian or
A Moslem or a Jew
Should I spend all day just
Praying on my knees
And searching through the world for
A deity to please
A Shaggs record would be a sound investment
If the atheists are right then I
Have no need to worry
For there is no great being
Whose favour I must curry
The fat peoples want what
The skinny peoples got
The skinny peoples want what
The fat peoples got
But all I've ever wanted is
What the Shaggs got
Dat Ding and my pal, Foot Foot
And all the pretty angels just
Might be packing guns
And if I see St peter will
He hit me up for cash
Will I find the road to Jesus or
Just lose him in the trash
The Shaggs were right
You're never going to please, anybody
Not in this world
If I go to Hell I might find it very dull
Like an Amway convention or
An endless shopping mall
When all the innocent demons want to
Poke me with a fork or just put me in a taxi
And send me to New York
Scientists proved it years ago
The Shaggs were much better than the Beatles
Maybe I'll return as an iguana
And lie upon a beach down in the Bahamas
Although ignored in their day
The Shaggs are now recognised as
The geniuses they were
I just wanna know what happens when you die
Do you walk down in a hole
Or float up to the sky
Is it just a waste of water
When your widow cries?
Oh don't tell me you've never
Heard of the Shaggs?
If the atheists are right then I
Have no need to worry
For there is no great being
Whose favour I must curry
And I'll be going nowhere once they
Lay me in the earth
So why waste a Sunday by going to church?
If you really wanted to
You could run out right now
And buy a Shaggs record
If the atheists are wrong then I've
Got a bill that's due
So should I be a Christian or
A Moslem or a Jew
Should I spend all day just
Praying on my knees
And searching through the world for
A deity to please
A Shaggs record would be a sound investment
If the atheists are right then I
Have no need to worry
For there is no great being
Whose favour I must curry
The fat peoples want what
The skinny peoples got
The skinny peoples want what
The fat peoples got
But all I've ever wanted is
What the Shaggs got
Dat Ding and my pal, Foot Foot