The Jolly Rogers - Lemon Cookie lyrics
[The Jolly Rogers - Lemon Cookie lyrics]
Okay, I got it, you're gonna love this one
There's this guy, this guy, right
He's feeling kinda sick
Feeling a little off he goes into the doctor
The doctor diagnoses him as
Having a tapeworm!
Oh my God! The guy is freaking out!
He's got terrible mental images, tapeworm
"ah tapeworm! I've got a tapeworm!"
The doctor says "no, no! Calm down! Relax
Take it easy there's a brand new therapy
For getting rid of tapeworms
It doesn't involve any kind of surgery
It's completely outpatient
And it only takes four days!"
The guy thinks about this and he's
Like "well I guess that
Sounds pretty good that- yeah let's
Do it! Let's do it!"
So the doctor's like "great! Come on in
Tomorrow and we'll begin the treatment!"
So the man walks into the doctor's office
The next day sitting on the equipment
Tray is a hardboiled egg and a
Lemon cookie the doctor says "take
Down your pants, " the man takes down his
Pants the doctor says "bend
Over" the man bends over and suddenly
The doctor inserts the hardboiled egg
Right up the man's bum! Followed
Immediately by the lemon cookie!
This sort of surprises the man
A little bit but the
Doctor says, the doctor assures him
He says "no, no
No! You're doing wonderfully! It's
Perfect! It's fantastic! Come
On in tomorrow and we'll
Continue the treatment"
So the man comes in the next day
Sitting on the doctor's equipment tray
Is a hardboiled egg and a lemon
Cookie the doctor says "take down
Your pants, " the man takes down his pants
The doctor says "bend over"
The man bends over and suddenly, the
Doctor inserts the hardboiled egg
Right up the man's bum! Followed
Immediately by the lemon cookie!
The man's starting to think twice
About this doctor a
Little bit but the doctor says "no, no
No! You're doing great! You're doing
Fantastic! I've never seen anyone react to
This treatment quite like you
Have come on in tomorrow and
We'll continue our war
Against the tapeworm!"
So the man comes in on the third day
Sitting on the doctor's equipment tray is
A hardboiled egg and a lemon cookie the
Doctor says "take down your pants
" the man takes down his pants the
Doctor says "bend over" the man
Bends over in goes the hardboiled egg!
Followed immediately by the lemon cookie!
The doctor says "this is
Wonderful this is fantastic!
I can't tell you what I'm feeling
Right now come in tomorrow and you will
Be rid of your tapeworm forever!"
So the man comes in on the
Fourth and final day sitting on
The doctor's equipment tray is a hardboiled
Egg and a five-pound sledgehammer
Which causes some anxiety
When the doctor says "take
Down your pants" But
The doctor has treated him so
Well up to this point
The man trusts him completely! So he takes
Down his pants the doctor says
"bend over" the man bends over and
In goes the hardboiled egg!
The doctor picks up the
Sledgehammer he wait's
One minute two minutes three minutes
The tapeworm sticks his head out and says
"hey! Where's my lemon cookie?" BAM
What?
There's this guy, this guy, right
He's feeling kinda sick
Feeling a little off he goes into the doctor
The doctor diagnoses him as
Having a tapeworm!
Oh my God! The guy is freaking out!
He's got terrible mental images, tapeworm
"ah tapeworm! I've got a tapeworm!"
The doctor says "no, no! Calm down! Relax
Take it easy there's a brand new therapy
For getting rid of tapeworms
It doesn't involve any kind of surgery
It's completely outpatient
And it only takes four days!"
The guy thinks about this and he's
Like "well I guess that
Sounds pretty good that- yeah let's
Do it! Let's do it!"
So the doctor's like "great! Come on in
Tomorrow and we'll begin the treatment!"
So the man walks into the doctor's office
The next day sitting on the equipment
Tray is a hardboiled egg and a
Lemon cookie the doctor says "take
Down your pants, " the man takes down his
Pants the doctor says "bend
Over" the man bends over and suddenly
The doctor inserts the hardboiled egg
Right up the man's bum! Followed
Immediately by the lemon cookie!
This sort of surprises the man
A little bit but the
Doctor says, the doctor assures him
He says "no, no
No! You're doing wonderfully! It's
Perfect! It's fantastic! Come
On in tomorrow and we'll
Continue the treatment"
So the man comes in the next day
Sitting on the doctor's equipment tray
Is a hardboiled egg and a lemon
Cookie the doctor says "take down
Your pants, " the man takes down his pants
The doctor says "bend over"
The man bends over and suddenly, the
Doctor inserts the hardboiled egg
Right up the man's bum! Followed
Immediately by the lemon cookie!
The man's starting to think twice
About this doctor a
Little bit but the doctor says "no, no
No! You're doing great! You're doing
Fantastic! I've never seen anyone react to
This treatment quite like you
Have come on in tomorrow and
We'll continue our war
Against the tapeworm!"
So the man comes in on the third day
Sitting on the doctor's equipment tray is
A hardboiled egg and a lemon cookie the
Doctor says "take down your pants
" the man takes down his pants the
Doctor says "bend over" the man
Bends over in goes the hardboiled egg!
Followed immediately by the lemon cookie!
The doctor says "this is
Wonderful this is fantastic!
I can't tell you what I'm feeling
Right now come in tomorrow and you will
Be rid of your tapeworm forever!"
So the man comes in on the
Fourth and final day sitting on
The doctor's equipment tray is a hardboiled
Egg and a five-pound sledgehammer
Which causes some anxiety
When the doctor says "take
Down your pants" But
The doctor has treated him so
Well up to this point
The man trusts him completely! So he takes
Down his pants the doctor says
"bend over" the man bends over and
In goes the hardboiled egg!
The doctor picks up the
Sledgehammer he wait's
One minute two minutes three minutes
The tapeworm sticks his head out and says
"hey! Where's my lemon cookie?" BAM
What?