The Jolly Rogers - Tale of Mary Drew lyrics
[The Jolly Rogers - Tale of Mary Drew lyrics]
The time has come to tell you
Of the tale of Mary Drew
Who buried sixteen husbands by the
Age of twenty two
Some say that she's a monster
The evil widowed bride
But you'll find there's more to it when
You hear how they all died
At sixteen she met Charles
It was love at first sight
They married Sunday morning and they
Buried him that night
They all thought it tragic but
None thought it foul play
Until six months later on
Her second wedding day!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Barry was a strapping lad
As strong as any ox
But after just two days with her
He wound up in a box!
The police they were alerted and
Just had to come around but a poor
Sad widow was all the coppers found
They looked for clues each time
But never found a trace
Each husband was found naked with
A smile on his face
They put the clues together
An answer came to light
None of these men could handle
On of Mary's wedding nights!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Now Michael was what some of you
Might call a "ladies man, "
Said, "Mary just needs taming
And I have the perfect plan"
Well they heard him beg for mercy and
Then beg her not to stop
So unless his plan was suicide I
Guess it was a flop!
It seemed Mart was packing
Some extraordinary heat
And only the bravest would
Slip between her sheets
Sixteen men went to heaven
Right before each died
But she was always happy to
Become a new man's bride!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Willy was a clockmaker
As punctual as could be
And so they were married at
Precisely ten past three
When he went to the bedroom he
Knew he was tempting fate
Next morning, for the first time
That poor Willy he was late
Matthew was a blacksmith and a bitter
Angry man
His neighbors they suggested that he
Ask for Mary's hand
When they put him down to rest
He was grinning ear to ear
And the neighbors all let loose
With a very tasteful cheer
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Well, I had to know though I
Don't mean to be obscene
And she agreed that I would
Be her number seventeen
So we were married Sunday
I was ready for the thrill
And they buried her on Monday by
The tree up on the hill!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian and Mary Drew
And now they're all dead!
Of the tale of Mary Drew
Who buried sixteen husbands by the
Age of twenty two
Some say that she's a monster
The evil widowed bride
But you'll find there's more to it when
You hear how they all died
At sixteen she met Charles
It was love at first sight
They married Sunday morning and they
Buried him that night
They all thought it tragic but
None thought it foul play
Until six months later on
Her second wedding day!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Barry was a strapping lad
As strong as any ox
But after just two days with her
He wound up in a box!
The police they were alerted and
Just had to come around but a poor
Sad widow was all the coppers found
They looked for clues each time
But never found a trace
Each husband was found naked with
A smile on his face
They put the clues together
An answer came to light
None of these men could handle
On of Mary's wedding nights!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Now Michael was what some of you
Might call a "ladies man, "
Said, "Mary just needs taming
And I have the perfect plan"
Well they heard him beg for mercy and
Then beg her not to stop
So unless his plan was suicide I
Guess it was a flop!
It seemed Mart was packing
Some extraordinary heat
And only the bravest would
Slip between her sheets
Sixteen men went to heaven
Right before each died
But she was always happy to
Become a new man's bride!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Willy was a clockmaker
As punctual as could be
And so they were married at
Precisely ten past three
When he went to the bedroom he
Knew he was tempting fate
Next morning, for the first time
That poor Willy he was late
Matthew was a blacksmith and a bitter
Angry man
His neighbors they suggested that he
Ask for Mary's hand
When they put him down to rest
He was grinning ear to ear
And the neighbors all let loose
With a very tasteful cheer
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian
And now they're all dead!
Well, I had to know though I
Don't mean to be obscene
And she agreed that I would
Be her number seventeen
So we were married Sunday
I was ready for the thrill
And they buried her on Monday by
The tree up on the hill!
There was Charles and Barry
And Nick and Mark and John
Michael and Terry, Henry, Sam and Ron
There was Billy and Willy
And Matthew and Fred
There was a James and a Brian and Mary Drew
And now they're all dead!