Tom MacDonald - Stay Alive lyrics

Last night I couldn't fall
Asleep without an Ativan
Today I woke up anxious
Having a battle with panic attacks
I couldn't look at my
Reflection in the bathroom
And I smashed every mirror
Now the crib is full of shattered glass
Now I'm sittin' in the ruins reading comments
From people who don't like me
Surrounded by sharp objects
Been makin' fun of people for
Bein' weak and too sensitive
But I feel like I might kill
Myself from reading all their messages
A former alcoholic, I ain't drank in a bit
But I got non-alcoholic beers
Stacked in the fridge
I've been fightin' with my girlfriend
'bout every little thing
Google Mappin' thе directions that'll get
Me to a bridgе
My dogs know I've been fighting 'cause
They never leave my side
But I don't wanna make 'em sad
So I don't let 'em see me cry
I can feel 'em staring
I can't look 'em in the eyes
'Cause I'm scared that they'll
Know I wanna die

I have bad days but they don't see me cry
And when it all comes down
These haters save my life
Now on a bad day, I'll never take my life
I gotta outlive all my enemies who stay alive

Last night I told my dad
I'll keep it a hundred
If I wasn't feelin' well
I wouldn't secretly struggle
Looked up the Suicide Hotline and
Wrote down the number then I hid it in the
Cornflakes box in the cupboard
I could probably pay my rent
Erase the debt that I've been gettin' in
With half the money I spent
On depression with this medicine
I got a debit credit
Dedicated to my sedatives
That's keepin' me alive and not
In heaven or a skeleton
I'm lyin' 'bout eatin'
I dump my food in the garbage
I lie awake for hours
Swear that I feel retarded
In the morning I pretend that
I wake up to alarms
'Cause I don't want my girl to know
That I just cry in the darkness
I'm posting on the Internet
Pretending I'm a stable dude
Suicidal thoughts
Faking like I'm in the greatest mood
Threw out all the razor blades
I hit myself and make a bruise
Nova cooked me breakfast
I can't eat and it's my favorite food

I have bad days but they don't see me cry
And when it all comes down
These haters save my life
Now on a bad day, I'll never take my life
I gotta outlive all my enemies who stay alive

Dear world (Dear world) , I've been tryin'
But I'm tired i know that I'm a person
Millions of people admire
Tell my parents that I love them
And my fans I ain't retired
But I can't keep standin' strong with
Both my feet in the fire
I ain't sorry for the music
People said was offensive
I don't apologize for nothin', if I said it
I meant it to everyone who wished that I
Was dead 'cause my record's
Outliving y'all, saved my life from an ending

I have bad days but they don't see me cry
And when it all comes down
These haters save my life
Now on a bad day, I'll never take my life
I gotta outlive all my enemies who stay alive