​of Montreal - Triumph of Disintegration lyrics

The last ten days have been a motherfucker
I didn't know if I'd survive

The voice with the synapse that calls
Blood bats into action has
Now entered the tablelands
It's only natural to feel a little imbalanced
It's a symptom of your hysterical
Need to be understood

You had to forgive your enemy
Cause it was making you
Psychotic to keep fighting him
Inside of your head
But how could you allow these
People that you don't even
Respect to rape your self
Concept and make your
Inner world an ugliness?
Thrashed through the forest like
A tormented brute i had to make myself a
Monster just to feel something
Ugly enough to be true
And then scratching wildly at the mirror
In my heart to see their doleful faces
What is the flaw in just running away?
Running away fixes everything
How can I, why should I stay?
Just to view the triumph of disintegration?

To live beneath language, or far above
It's really not that different
At least now that the one thing
That is good about me
Has begun to express it'self
In malicious ways

Thrashed through the forest like
A tormented brute i had to make myself a
Monster just to feel something
Ugly enough to be true
And then scratching wildly at the mirror
In my heart to see their doleful faces

What is the flaw in just running away?
Running away fixes everything
How can I, why should I stay?
Just to see the triumph of disintegration?
Victories of devastation?