Animaniacs, Rob Paulsen, Clyde Lawrence, Jordan Cohen, Lauren Lapkus - What If? lyrics

If this trash heap had a twinkle
In it's little trash heap eyes
If this sewer rat had rosy
Cheeks this bus became pint-sized
What if all the dogs were puppies
And the puppies all were sad?
What if cuttlefish were cuddly and
We pedicured your dad?

What if you could kiss a pigeon?
(Without contracting Lyme disease)
All the chairs were beanbags made
(Of soft, delicious cheese)
If this moldy bread had a smile?
(That was 50 shades of green)
What if this pirate stopped frowning?
('Cause his hеad was a jellybean)

What if, what if, what if
The world was cutеr?
What if, what if, what if
A little more kawaii?
What if, what if, what if
We all rode scooters!
And we'd all have our chance to shine!

What if this red-faced man looked happy?
(Oo hoo)
And this one's rancor was more refined? (Aah)
What if Tuck Buck was your true love?
(Hoo oo) so sweet and valentine!
(So sweet and valentine)
What if old shoes were more bouncy?
Yeah, and they all still had their squeak
Naked mole rats wore a sweater
And the grizzly bears were meek
We'll dress up this suit of armor
In a stone-washed denim skirt
Turn the Nile into a babbling brook
And make Niagara a little squirt

What if, what if, what if
The world was cuter?
What if, what if, what if
A little more kawaii?
What if, what if, what if
We all rode scooters!
And we'd all have our chance to shine!

It's been four weeks
We can't stop singing and
We've slowly gone insane!
There's a gumdrop wrapped in rainbows where
There used to be my brain
We have to end this nightmare
I have sugar in my eyes please make it stop
We can't endure another cute reprise!

What if, what if the pigeon is the answer?
What if, what if, what if we held it close?
What if, what if, what if
We turned it all back? What if, what if
By doing something gross?