Benny Troung - Professional Meat Beaters lyrics

Okay, Pringles can, glove
And two sponges make a fleshlight
Ima fuck around and start selling
'em on my website
Benny Troung dot com, life like a rom-com
Minus the rom, beat my cock 'til it got numb
Fun, fun, no what fun
Now have you ever put your
Dick inside a donut, son?
Well, I have, I'll tell ya
That shit ain't a keeper
Cuz somehow I got sprinkles inside my urethra
Got a motherfucker singing like I'm Aretha
That's Franklin, I'm panicking
Someone call the ambulance
Pull up to the ER
They all know me so they say "Hi!"
You the guy that got his dick
Stuck inside a zip tie
Yup, yup, yeah that's me i'm outta lotion
Beat my dick with acne cream
Then the shaft start chafing
Foreskin flaking i think I need to take
A vacation meant for masturbation

And these are things that I put my dick into
When I think of you, when I think of you
And these are things that I put my dick into
When I think of you, when I think of you

Shit, socks, sweats, jizz in them, I'm horny
Neighbors wanna know why I'm
Always doing laundry
I just brought a Tenga egg
I'ma have a party, for one
Yeah, that's a little depressing
I close my eyes and I imagine you undressing
Ima squeeze my weiner with
The new masala dressing
I ain't mean to creep you out
You ain't gotta call security
Everything, the profit's
The proceeds will go to charity
Benny Troung, true hero and a patriot
Catch me on the roof
I'm doing jumping jacks naked
Quarantine, pubic hair, training day
I show 'em i've been doing ten pound
Weights on my scrotum
I'm a power lifter, and he's a power bottom
You could do without him
You need someone awesome
I listen to your problems
Baby it's the Troungster
I just put my dick into
Scalding hot shower faucet

And these are things that I put my dick into
When I think of you, when I think of you
And these are things that I put my dick into
When I think of you, when I think of you