Benny Troung - Tiger Birthday lyrics

Got drunk on a Monday (Monday?)
Got drunk on a Tuesday (damn)
Got drunk on a Wednesday everyday booze day
Yo pass me the shoestring, pass me the belt
Pass me the scarf, pass me the rope
Pass me the chair, I'm hangin' myself
Happy birthday, let's party
Might see your ex at the party
Havin' sex in the potty
With your best friend Johnny (Johnny?)
He gon' exit the party
He gon' wait in the lobby
He gon' catch him some bodies
Tryin' to escape to Hawaii
That's not likely pretend like it's gucci
That's not wifey
Good thin you kept jpegs of her coochie
I got an idea fuck her best friend Maria
Tell a bitch watch her rear
This couch from IKEA

Osama Benny Laden no shirt, like Aladdin
In the palace, I'm a stallion
Squirtin' on Jasmine, pass me a towel
That was kinda retarded
Beat kinda sound like "Slightly Retarded"
BT, highly regarded
Pardon me, while I shart on the carpet
"Do you know who that is?"
Bitch see me, do a backflip
Her elbow, autograph it
Eyes up here, not on my package
Bitch got mad, had a tantrum
Want attention, called me a has-been
I'm a has-been because I have been
Fuckin her ass in abandoned buildings
It's my birthday, that's what it is
Let me get the baby back ribs
Bone a bitch in the back of the Siz
Next thing you know, daddy got kids
Left the state, don't you stalk me
I'm unemployed, can't get shit off me
Changed my name, don't you call me
Benny ain't goin' on Stephen Harvey

Failed math, and biology
Maybe I'll try scientology
Marijuana, highest quality
Saw your mom in line at Jollibee
Hire me, wanna swallow me
In the bathroom doin' gynecology
What's those bumps? Don't lie to me
(the fuck?)
Told me I might got the gonorrhee
I ain't got no insurance
Bitch, I ain't even got a furnace
If I ain't live in Los Urngales
I woulda been got hypothermis (Brrrh)
I think I might got diabeetus
God damn I love these sweetuns
God damn I live these Doritus
I can't eat normal
Don't make no plans on Thursday
Girl, you invited to my birthday (birthday)
Bring me some bud, and some bird, mane
Shave that puss, wake up early
Bring your sister, Melisser
How about you kiss her?
Treat a ho like I treat my liver
Thanks for the gift card

Man: Wherever he goes
Well placed sprays of urine
Announce his presence