Bo Burnham - I'm a Little Teapot / Improv Song lyrics

I'm a big fan of Hip-Hop
Because I like words, I like poetry
And Hip-Hop feels like a way
To condense a lot
Of those things into a short amount of time
There are artists that still do that
Kendrick Lamar, very word heavy, very poetic
But - what are you doing? This is my show
Do not veer credit to
People outside this building

Most Hip-Hop artists, for me -and
It is for me
Hip-Hop has traded in words and
Poetry for beat fetishism
It's where you make a sick beat
And then you rap anything over it
And people lose their minds
I'll give you an example
Is there a sick beat back there for me?

OH SHIT!

I am not one of you i am not a human being
You know what I am?
I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle, here is my spout
When I get all steamed up, then I shout
Singing tip me over and- (Pour me out)
Let's go!

(Pour me out, pour me out
Tip me over and pour me out, nigga
Pour me out, pour me out
Tip me over and pour me out)

Okay, Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
One for the Master one for the Dame
One for the little boy that's
Living down the lane (Baa)
(Lives down the lane, Lives down the lane)
Why is there a young boy
Living alone down the lane?
Who signed this boy's lease?
Am I the only one concerned
With this little boy?
Two examples, is enough

Okay, thank you

A lesser comedian would have milked
That for four verses
And a better comedian wouldn't have
Done it at all we're right in the sweet spot

These cannons cost 200 dollars
Just for that joke
I could give that money to a homeless person
Make their day
And I don't do that, very often
That is my first decision every morning
Not today, nah i'll do that tomorrow
Tomorrow comes and it's still today!
Tomorrow is a relative term
We're not getting there
Makes Annie more depressing

(Fuck you)

You don't know where I'm going
Don't act like it! You're not ahead of me!
I will retain the element of surprise!
Blehh!

Trying to work on my improv
My show is very planned to the word
To the gesture

And I'm trying to break out of that

I want to make something brand
New for every show
That only a few people get to experience
What's your name, man? (Rob) rob? Alright
I'm going to try to make up a song about Rob
Off the top of my head this might not work
It's to keep me sharp, I'm stalling trying
To think of rhymes for Rob, it's not fair
Okay, song about Rob, hit the track

(Fuck)

Bo had sex with (Rob's) mom
Bo had sex with (Rob's) mom
Bo, I heard you had sex with
An older woman last night! (I did)
What's her son's name?
(Rob, he's right there, I fucked his mother)
Bo had sex with (Rob's) mom
Bo had sex with (Rob's) mom

I fucked her for an hour
Then left when I was done
Because fucking is her game
And Rob is her son

Did we plan that? We did not plan that!
How does he do it? How does
He pretend to do it?
How does he remain contrived? I'm
Not honest for a
Second up here! Honesty is for the birds
Baby you want an honest comedian? Go
See the rest of them, alright?
"This thing actually happened" cool