Bo Burnham - I'm Bo Yo (Bo Burnham) lyrics

Now, I don't know if all boy scouts are gay
As they could probably "tie the knot"
In like fifty different ways
Got a safe full o' cherries
'cause I pop it and lock it
A girl's like a fridge
Once a week you should stock it
Girl, if you're into rimmin'
It's only safe if you're swimmin'
But girl, don't sit on that couch
'cause I treat my objects like women
I spit fire like I just blew a demon
My shit's so hot I'll leave
Your toilet bowl steamin' i'm gonna tear it
Like the cards of the gypsies
You'll bleed for so long
You'll get monthly ellipses
If your pants are loose, I'll replete ya
You're a first time vegan and
It's nice to meet ya

I'm Bo, yo i'm the greatest rapper ever
And I'll weather your weather-whether you
Think I'm clever or not
Think you're better, you're not
Don't need a sweater, I'm hot
I'm a real G, shawty
That can really find your G-spot
What the hell's a G-spot?

Go to a vagina orchard, count one, two, three
Spin that plant around
You got a third world country
That's right, consider yourself warned
I'm offensive and creative
Like handicapped porn
You're playing with your breasts, excuse me
Can I try it ma'am?
You're pushin' em together like
A titty Venn diagram
Look at that crack! Excuse me
Can I buy a gram?
Right below your diaphragm
Ass looks like you're hidin' ham
First base, we're makin' out
Second base, I'm gettin' faked out
I said, third base, I'm gettin' take out
And I'd try to take it home if
I knew I'd take it out
But, I just don't know
I said I just don't care
I said my flow's so cold I need
A tampon from a polar bear
And you can spell and smell my stink
BO lingers and it makes you think

Cause, I'm Bo yo
And I'm the greatest rapper ever
And I'll weather your weather-whether you
Think I'm clever or not
Think you're better, you're not
Don't need a sweater, I'm hot
You got two eyes, only got one shot, yeah yo

'Cause girls are like donuts when
I be bustin' Bo nuts
I can make 'em cream-filled or give
Them a layer of glaze
I'm like Doug's friend Skeeter
Whenever I meet her
'Cause, I skeet her so hard
People call her Patty Mayonnaise
Yo, my girl is epileptic 'cause she's
The one I'm jerkin' with
Come on, you Asian child laborer
Show me what you're workin' with
Oh, large machinery?
'Cause there's an inverse relationship
Between respect and sects
I'm talking about religious sects
Like a Mormon sect
That says you can't have sex
With members of different sects
But, you can't have sex with
Members of the same sex
So if the sects can't be different
The sex can't be same
Then the only sex left is
Some left hand shame
And girl I left you 'cause you left the game
And if that don't feel right then
You can write my name

'Cause, I'm Bo yo
I'm the greatest rapper ever
And I'll weather your weather-whether you
Think I'm clever or not
Think you're better, you're not
Don't need a sweater, I'm hot
If I can't think of another rhyme
Then I ought to think of one
Yeah, break this down, man yo, yo

Look past the skin, look at the lyrics
I'll run miracle circles around
You like spherical lyrics
This isn't about ironic pigment
If you're imagining this then
I'm a chronic figment, yeah
Feel it, ready? Man, my junk's so long that
It hangs and swings so at the nude beach
People think I'm lookin for lost rings
Play the skin flute, your big boy sings
If you want to take it
All, wear African neck rings, oh
Yeah, come on
Haters call me gay, but that ain't hatin'
Cause, I'm not homophobic, my
Morals are straight, and
If I'm in the closet, you are below me
Takin' the B-A T out of basement, homie, yeah

Yo, 'cause I'm Bo yo
I'm the greatest rapper ever
And I'll weather your weather-whether you
Think I'm clever or not
Think you're better, you're not
Don't need a sweater, I'm hot i'm a real G
That can really find your G-spot
Yeah, yeah, yo, yo i'm a real G homie that
Can really find your G-spot, oh
I'm representing you
I'm representing the people from the 01982
Yo

Oh my god, buy my EP on iTunes right now
Go, right now, while I stall
Buy it right now out!