Bo Burnham - Ironic lyrics

I believe in the zodiac! yeah
I do, I'm a Leo, i love Titanic
This is something a little mor-
Something a little morbidly
Ironic: my grandmother, uh, she was a cancer
And she was actually killed by a giant crab
This is a song about the idea of irony
So strap in!

My dog's stomach was very upset
So I put him in the car
And we went to the vet
And on our way to the vet i killed a cat

Hey, I said isn't that ironic?

I adopted a child from overseas
To rescue him from child labor factories
And on his very first birthday
We went to Build-A-Bear workshop

Isn't that ironic?
Isn't that IR-O-N-IC-IN-O-R-IR-O-N-IC

A waterpark is burned to the ground
And a, a tow truck has broken down
I always used to cry when I laughed
And then I was raped by a clown

Isn't- that's ironic

I was watching Al Gore on CNN
He was talking and talking and talking
And then out of boredom
My pet polar bear shot himself

Isn't that ironic?

I dated an animal rights activist
And one day she got really pissed
Because I was eating veal
That was wrapped in pita bread pETA? Fuck it

Isn't that IR-O-N-IC-IN-O-R-IR-O-N-IC

Yeah, I'm a stand-up comic
And I always sit and slouch
And I got my girlfriend pregnant
On my sterile uncle's pull-out couch

Isn't that ironic? IR-O-N-IC

Yeah, if everyday you play
The board game Risk
You've probably never taken a
Risk in your life
And Monopoly has far from a stranglehold
On the board game market
A little kid died from suffocation
When he choked on a game piece from Operation
And I can't grow a beard
That one's not ironic that one's just sad
Oh, Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant

My grandfather had Alzheimer's
And one day we were