Bo Burnham - Left Brain, Right Brain lyrics

Okay, um, we're moving right along here, um
Hello, patient 24602
I'm sorry, hello how are
How are you feeling? Um, not great
Has the treatment been working?
Uh, I don't think so, no
What are your remaining symptoms?
I just, I I internalize my feelings a lot
I have trouble articulating
How I'm feeling to other people
I feel like I just, i'm
So basically, you're still a little bitch
Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice
Way up there i was just joking, nigga
Alright, you're not as safe in Wisconsin as
You might think with that shit
I'm not human, I can say whatever I want
Alright, just, just get to the point
What's wrong with me? Please, please
Your emotion and logic are at war okay
Your creativity and analysis are at


War, and most simply
Your left and right brain are at war
My left and my ri to fix the problem
We must separate them from each other sep
Splitting your neurological functions in
5 4 3 2 1 well, we book an appointment
Or something? You don't
Just start counting down to
Major medical procedures this may hurt a bit
I don't know what it is
Just tell me what you're

Isolation complete this is Bo's Left Brain:
Objective, logical, cold, analytical
Aware of patterns, aware of
Trends he's efficient, and a prick
This is Bo's Right
Brain: subjective, creative, sensory aware
Of feelings, aware of people he's emotional
And an idiot that's your opinion, just
Careful with opinions okay boys, play nice

I am the Left Brain, I am the Left Brain
I work really hard 'til
My inevitable death brain
You got a job to do, you better do it right
And the right way
Is with the Left Brain's might
I like Oreos and pussy, yes! In that order!
And I cried for at least an
Hour after watching Toy Story 3, woody!
I am the Right Brain, I have feelings
I'm a little all over the place
But, I'm lustful, trustful
And I'm looking for somebody to love
(Or put my penis in)
Here comes a female, here comes a female
Puff your chest out
Take your phone out and check your email
Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate
So gather data now and see
If she's a possible mate
Holy fuck, I think she might be the one
There's something about her
I just can't describe it tit's
I am the earth, she's the glorious sun
I want her to trust me and I
Just want her to how do
I say this? Sit on my face?
Sit SIT ON MY FACE!
Alright now, Right Brain, you're being insane
No, Left Brain, I'm just being alive
You should try it, you might like it
I worked hard to give him
Everything he cared about
You were worried 'bout the things
He was scared about
I'm calm and collected when you act wild
I am the adult, you are the child
You think you're the right one every time
You think you know everything but you
Don't know anything at all
Half of his problems were supposed to be mine
But, you wanted everything
I hope that you're happy
'cause he's sure not

Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry
Let me run the numbers again, um
You're a pussy name calling
Really? You're gonna just do name calling?
I'm not calling names alright, I'm just
Stating facts, and the fact is
You're a quivering pussy
I'm the pussy? Well at least I
Don't play with toys still, okay
Rubik's cubes are not toys alright
They keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp
Left Brain plays with toys!
Look at you! Mister, you're a toy player
Well, ​ at least I did my fucking job
Alright? I kept him
Working, I kept him productive you were
Supposed to look after him
You were supposed to keep him
Emotionally stable for all this
Now you're trying to blame me
For how he's feeling
How he's feeling! If he's
Feeling unhappy it's
Because you failed him you did this to him
He hates you I know he does
He fucking hates you! Sobs
Right brain, look, I'm sorry, okay?
No you're not

Look, maybe there's something that
We could do together together?
Take the best parts of both of us
Put them together i'm listening
It would let you let your feelings out
It would let me analyze
So you could man the themes
I'll man the form
It's something that George Carlin did
It's something that Steve Martin did
It's something special that we
Could both perform, do you know what it is?
Juggling! We could juggle and
Juggle our cares away!
It was it was comedy, we
Could do comedy together, and
Initiating reassembly
Alright, Left Right brain, look
We’re gonna do comedy together alright?
We gotta do comedy
Alright, alright, Left Brain
I'll do comedy with you
Look, we can fix him like this, we
Can make him happy again, I promise
Alright? Reformation in 5 4 3 2 1
Left Brain left Brain, I love you! I know
Experimentation complete

Thank you very much

Thank you guys for coming
It's so nice i wanted to record
The CD in Madison because
It's always been one of my favorite places
To play i played here last year
I don't know if some people came to that one?

That's very nice, thanks for coming
Again, I appreciate it um
There's gonna be you
Know, there's little silences in the show
As I'm moving in between pieces
Don't feel like you have to fill that
Silence with laughter or applause
I don't want
You leaving this show saying, you know
"My hands hurt from clapping
My stomach hurts from laughing" I just
Want you leaving this show thinking, "Oh
Well"

And we're on our way