Bo Burnham - My Better Half lyrics

You filled the hole that pierced my soul
I promised that I'd find
Someone willing to take a run
Round pleasures of my mind am I a perv
Cause every nerve is craving for you touch
You make me laugh, you're my better half
Though you weigh twice as much

350 pounds of love
You must have fell from up above
And killed the townspeople below
You had a crush and you let it show
When I want to pleasure you
I need an expedition crew
With all those trips to KFC
You eat out more than me

We look just like the number ten
When you stand next to me
Is it your stare that pulls me in
Or just gravity
You mix mayonnaise with your scotch
You're the perfect spouse
Last week we went on a whale watch
The boat drove to your house

350 pounds of pain
When you exhale Al Gore goes insane
Whenever we make-out
I taste jam and sauerkraut
We went on a sailing trip
You fell and floated beside the ship
Then the boat docked on your pants and said
"I claim this island in the name of France"

Then you did what I feared, you disappeared
Sayin' it was something new
Liposuction, breast reduction
What came home wasn't you
No, no, no, no, it wasn't you

It was 120 pounds of hate
And you said "I look great!"
And when the nurses removed the fat
They found the neighbors cat
I just paused and said to her
"I loved you just the way you were"
Then she smiled and, for my sake, said
"Pass the cake"

Pass the cake pass the cake
Pass the cake