Bo Burnham - Welcome to the Show lyrics

"This is Bo Burnham he’s 21 years old he’s a
Male and he’s a little fucking shithead he’s
Isolated himself over the last 5 years it was
Due to Comedy and in doing so, he has
Lost touch with reality you’re an asshole
Bo you hear me? You think
You know better than me
You think you know better
Than everybody you’ll die
Alone…and you’ll deserve it but
In the meantime
You might as well tell us a few
Jokes of yours see if that helps"

You used to do comedy when you
Felt like being funny but
Now, you’re contractually obligated so dance
You fucking monkey dANCE, MONKEY, dAN-

Welcome to the show this is Bo this is his
Show and Bo likes to dance like this

Welcome to the show this is Bo this is his
Show and Bo takes off his pants like this

Play the invisible drum play
The invisible trumpet
(trumpet sound) Drink some
Invisible water oh, shit! That water’s real!

Bo wants to make you feel comfortable bo
Wants to make you feel comfortable
(random voice) Bo wants to make you
Feel comfortable so, sit back, relax
And enjoy a healthy dose
Of prolonged eye contact
(prolonged eye contact)

Prolonged eye contact
(prolonged eye contact) Lick your lips
To make it more comforting

Do you wanna see a magic trick?
Do you wanna see a magic
Trick? Do you wanna see a magic
Trick? Then pick a card, any card pSYCH

Magic isn’t real, you idiot
(read a book) Magic isn’t real or is it?

And at that moment
Bo’s 20 year old cynicism melted
Into child-like wonder he
Never knew there could be so much magic in
The world it’s a world of possibilities
Bo what do you wanna
Do first? Run? Yea, sure you can run fly? Oh
Yea you can fly

What? What are you What the fuck
Are you What the fuck are
You doing? Sto-Stop stop it! The
F-You fucking idiot stop sTOP
(alright) Stop (alright)

In the distance, Bo saw a beautiful
Fairy a fairy, so beautiful
That he felt proud about being
Called one in high school
He then came across an old bridge with a
Troll standing guard bo knew that
He had to answer
A riddle to get by the troll spoke thus:

"Man, I don’t know why you
Keep calling me troll okay
I’m homeless i lost my job i
Really could use if you had any change if
You can sp…spare…Why are you walking away
Man? Wh- You’re everything that’s
Wrong in the
World you know that? YOU KNOW THAT?"

As Bo arrived to the other side of the stage
He saw a unicorn with 5 horns right in
Front of him! And the pentacorn spoke thus:

"Hello, Bo i’ve been looking for
You for quite a long
T-" shoots with a pistol reloads then shoots

He was safe for now but the
Dark thoughts would soon return

(It’s Godzilla! Stop)

It’s so hard to be a lizard! It is hard to
Be a lizard it’s so hard to be a lizard!
(WHY IS HE SINGING?) It’s so hard to be
A lizard (WHY?) And it’s hard to segue

Is he skiing? Or is he in
A gay porn? Is he skiing?
(what?) Or is he in a gay porn?
Is he skiing? (what?) Or is
He in a gay porn? Here’s a
Hint: he’s in a gay porn!

Okay, Bo this miming shit is getting pretty
Annoying so give them the real thing!

My voice is so fucking natural it’s
Naturally good naturally good naturally good

This is the end of the song and the
Beginning of the show welcome to the show!