Bo Burnham - Welcome to YouTube lyrics

Before YouTube I walked through life
And now I frolic
YouTube's been like a father to me
Except YouTube's not an alcoholic
Before YouTube I was just a skinny white kid
That thought he was funnier and cooler
Than he actually was
And now, well not much has changed
But, I have a shitload of money
Because YouTube is a place for
People to share their ideas
If by people you mean 13-year-old girls
And by ideas you mean how
They love the Jonas Brothers
I'm just kidding
But let's be honest, that's a hefty majority
And if you don't believe me
Well then you must be a noob

So, welcome to YouTube
And you don't know what you're missing
Just try searching "Women Kissing"
It's YouTube
It's what this country's been needing
A generation of kids who don't
Waste their time reading
Am I the only one who
Thinks that Lisa Nova's hot?
And Chris Crocker's not no, he's hotter

Most of the best YouTubers are
Either Asian or they're gay
So there's an untapped YouTube celebrity
And his name is George Takei
And your favorite coat's got a doo doo stain
I pray to god that that's chocolate rain
And I find videos of babies
Laughing a bit intrusive
Because Barack Obama won the
Election because of YouTube
Wait, did I say YouTube? I
Meant the black vote
And I think YouTube and Fred are so cool!
(so stupid) and What The Buck will be
Back in a Jiffy Lube

So, welcome to YouTube welcome to YouTube
Hey, welcome to YouTube!

I said, listen and linger
Charlie the Unicorn bit my finger!
It's YouTube the impact is evident
Miss Teen South Carolina just
Ran for Vice President
Upload a video, you got nothing to lose
Except all of your friends
And the approval of your parents
"Hi, my name is Mary, and I'm 19 years
Old and I got drunk at a party
And I think someone was video taping it, but
I don't want anyone to see it
'cause I showed half of my boob"
Sorry, Mary!

Welcome to YouTube say "Hello" to YouTube
And say goodbye to your college scholarship
And if your video doesn't appeal to me
You gotta change the key word
Welcome to YouTube, oh
I said welcome to YouTube, yeah
And it will keep on going
And it'll never stop until it's privatized