Central Park Cast, Stanley Tucci, Daveed Diggs, John Early - TOSGANO lyrics
[Central Park Cast, Stanley Tucci, Daveed Diggs, John Early - TOSGANO lyrics]
It's very rare that I have
To recommend a TOSGANO
What's a TOSGANO?
That's my little acronym
What's it stand for?
This one sucks, get a new one
(sung)
You've got a dog, but the situation's hairy
And by that, I mean naughty
And it's getting pretty scary
It don't act like a pet, no
This is a TOSGANO
Let me spell it out for you
It's T-O-S-G-A-N-O
This one sucks, get a new one
It sucks, it sucks so friggin' much
It sucks so friggin' much
This one sucks, get a new one
I can't get rid of it fast enough
I can't get rid of it fast enough
(spoken) you don't need a license to
Be a pet therapist, do you?
No, ma'am
So, under what circumstances would
You recommend a TOSGANO?
Is it like, is it like if
It pees wherever it please, s? Eh
Won't get a job and watches
Too much TV? Uh uh
What if it gives you a dumb
Blank stare? Nope
Or flashes his lipstick out of nowhere?
That does suck, but it's not enough
For a TOSGANO guarantee
An H-A-B is what you need
Another acronym?
Yes
Which stands for?
"Hazardous Antisocial Behavior"
Which means?
Biting, but Shampagne's never bitten anyone
Right?
Hmm this therapist's breath is stinkin'
Like a dirty dog, but it's got me thinkin'
There's a plan cooking in my Helen melon
That could be fruitful
How to get rid of that shitzadoodle
All my dreams will come to pass
If I can get Shampagne to bite Bit'sy's ass
Oh my God, my puppy's growling at me
And it's got me yellin'
Who's gonna save me? Helen!
This one sucks, get a new one
It sucks, it sucks so friggin' much
It sucks so friggin' much
This one sucks, get a new one
I can't get rid of it fast enough
I can't get rid of it fast enough hehehe
Why are you laughing? Is it
Because of my job?
Yes, let's say yes
To recommend a TOSGANO
What's a TOSGANO?
That's my little acronym
What's it stand for?
This one sucks, get a new one
(sung)
You've got a dog, but the situation's hairy
And by that, I mean naughty
And it's getting pretty scary
It don't act like a pet, no
This is a TOSGANO
Let me spell it out for you
It's T-O-S-G-A-N-O
This one sucks, get a new one
It sucks, it sucks so friggin' much
It sucks so friggin' much
This one sucks, get a new one
I can't get rid of it fast enough
I can't get rid of it fast enough
(spoken) you don't need a license to
Be a pet therapist, do you?
No, ma'am
So, under what circumstances would
You recommend a TOSGANO?
Is it like, is it like if
It pees wherever it please, s? Eh
Won't get a job and watches
Too much TV? Uh uh
What if it gives you a dumb
Blank stare? Nope
Or flashes his lipstick out of nowhere?
That does suck, but it's not enough
For a TOSGANO guarantee
An H-A-B is what you need
Another acronym?
Yes
Which stands for?
"Hazardous Antisocial Behavior"
Which means?
Biting, but Shampagne's never bitten anyone
Right?
Hmm this therapist's breath is stinkin'
Like a dirty dog, but it's got me thinkin'
There's a plan cooking in my Helen melon
That could be fruitful
How to get rid of that shitzadoodle
All my dreams will come to pass
If I can get Shampagne to bite Bit'sy's ass
Oh my God, my puppy's growling at me
And it's got me yellin'
Who's gonna save me? Helen!
This one sucks, get a new one
It sucks, it sucks so friggin' much
It sucks so friggin' much
This one sucks, get a new one
I can't get rid of it fast enough
I can't get rid of it fast enough hehehe
Why are you laughing? Is it
Because of my job?
Yes, let's say yes