DANGERDOOM - Sofa King lyrics

Please, read from sheets i am (I am)
Sofa, King (Sofa King)

Scared of a bunch of water?
Then get out the rain
Order a rapper for lunch and
Spit out the chain
Then kick a lungie off the tip of his Timbo
And trick a honey dip into
A game of strip limbo
Odd, he couldn't find no remorse
A wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse
Of course his technique was
From a divine source
Never knew the price of ice
Or what swine cost
One guy tried to bite the heat
That's when he discovered the
Other other white meat
Ohh! The one they hate so well
He sure keeps it psycho like
The old Bates Motel they came to ask him for
At least some new tracks
But only got confronted by the
Beast with two backs
Knock mouse is a made man
Villain laid it down like the best laid plan
Bell the cat
Who the hell is that near the middle?
Got y'all but it's not all beer and Skittles
Prepare the vittles, got riddles and spittles
Crystal clear to the jot, or the tittle
Sssst! It's hot off the griddle
Came to take the cake whether it's a lot
Or a little kaboom DOOM is nervous large
You could tell by his
Blooming room service charge
Dark and tall to boot
The only thing was wrong was he
Was bald as a coot
Used to rent a van from Peter Pan
The red and tan and keep the human foot for
His dead man's hand
This was when the mask was brand spanking new
Before it got rusted
From dranking all the brew stanking too, pew
Kept all his earnings in the
Bank and his shoe
Spat what he knew, energy for true
To all fake rappers, twenty-three skidoo
Excuse you, any room in the class front?
For a blast of the blunt
Shrooming since last month
DOOM a human in the Mask, born to stunt
Danger zooming past mad fast on the hunt
Keep your streets
We got the city neatly conquered
Discretely with the CD till
They be completely bonkered
The fans demanded it, handled it, swallow it
His own brand of shit
If only he could bottle it
Hmm, nah, shit could get messy
The feds tried to torture him
For the secret recipe
He said it's no use, I only know half
No speaka de english, I only do the math
BZZT! Felt no pain
His brain was saturated with
Cocaine and Rogaine
He said, "Try scam, no-thing, three-card
Dead fly man go for bling, he got bled
I jam over sting, see spots red
I am 'Sofa King, We Todd Ed'" we, Todd, Ed
Now repeat all, very fast please
I am, Sofa King (faster)
I am Sofa King We Todd Ed
No no, not so fast, loses meaning
I am so fucking retarded
Hohohohohoho, you say, funny thing!