Deepspace5 - This Curse I Bear lyrics

I swear, i care not what the man think
My plan: ink paper til drips with
The fruit of my lips
Yet, if i get no dap or hand clap
From rap that i make, my tangible heart break

With my arms wide open
I hold opponents to my creed an arrangement
Shoplift the stolen moments that I need
Played stickball with my chances
Broke the window
On a streetcar named desire parked next
To the Chariots of Fire

Held down in this quagmire
Tarnishing crowns as I perspire
Dwindling empires as I plug wires
To transcribe my fire
Filling ears with my word lies
Wrapped tight to let you describe the
Feeling through your own eyes

They throw their souls up in the air cause
That's the coin they like to toss
They want life without the loss
They want Christ without the cross
Pretty faces, empty insides grace the runway
Or so some say gun play moves the crowd
Sunday by bloody Sunday

I don't bother writing flows
About clothes and cars
Record sales are not a measure
Of how dope you are
And this knowledge is what
Separates us from them
I'd rather snuff the page and then
Beat it down with my pen

Microphone testing, a blessing indeed, I stay
Pressing the seed hoping the hearts
Will receive in grounds fertile
A brown journal holding the picture
A mixture of heart plus emotion from my
Lyric to your spirit

This curse I bear, this curse I swear
Ya'll never notice the despair between
The kick and the snare
I scream for you to wake up
But, you just don't care
You sleeping on my speaking
Is my worst nightmare

Grit my teeth and close my eyes
Still see the misery that kills men
I'll just take another step and draw
The energy from my children until then
I'll just feel the pain and let you hurt me
Cry my tears in a bottle so you
Can drink it when you're thirsty

Inviting you to constantly listen
And not just hear
To be here where I'm at would cause most
People to not do this next year
For fear that nobody would
Listen and only sneer
Believing that your target
Audience wouldn't cheer
Makes you so anxious you just steer clear
Well here's a tape and to my
Thoughts I hope you're near
To my concepts please
Adhere your mind and life
In a way that's the most
Advantageous for you to mirror

Hey man, i got a snare and a verse
Where I'm bearing a curse
Got me wondering if smothering
My kick to disperse
This high hat, I'm setting it free
It got to be
The same night that I called it a day
What should I say

I write massive amounts of rhymes
But the masses don't hear it
Don't care about checking me out
I swear it be cursing my verses and
The stages that I walk on
I guess my talk is to rich for
These fools with jewels in my songs

This curse I bear, this curse I swear
Ya'll never notice the despair between
The kick and the snare
I scream for you to wake up
But, you just don't care
You sleeping on my speaking
Is my worst nightmare

Bound by the realization of what it
Is that I get up for
Cuz it's not the sun, not the day
I do it for fear that I'll lose my
Perception in the long run
Losing the contrast proverbially of the night
To the day's bright sun

A curse is squeezing a ill verse
To a 4 bar purse
I couldn't spend or bend the rhyme pattern
Trying to represent with limited content
Then vent my feelings squeezed
Inside of these emcees

See, it's hard for me to hide the
Fact it's not interesting when I'm listening
Me and disappointment go together
Like cigarettes and nicotine
And when it seems my dreams collide with
The name on my place card
I'll drop below the radar
Simply focus on the daystar

It seems to me I'm hated because
I choose to be creative
I'm like a leper in a town of fools
An outcast making statements
Against deception sending us all to hell
Worshipping the image of wealth with
A poor image of self

Doing work, causing hurt
Always writing verbs
Speak absurd when you heard how
I say these words
Fleshing out pounds of truth
From this recording booth
When you finally came to care
About this curse I bear

This curse I bear, this curse I swear
Ya'll never notice the despair between
The kick and the snare
I scream for you to wake up
But, you just don't care
You sleeping on my speaking
Is my worst nightmare