Demxntia - ​ghost in the shell ​ lyrics

Remember them days i was hitting licks
Just to keep all the lights on?
Whole time they was saying i wasn't shit
But at least we survived, huh?
16 when i dropped out of highschool
When all of our bills was past due
Promise i'd get us a bag soon
So i did what i did cuz i had to

If you looked at me wrong i was bad news
Kept a tool i was ready to use it
Demon mode we on go, i was used to
Living a life i was ready to lose, shit
Then i thought about my mama
If i kept it up then we wouldn't
Have a roof and i knew it
So i swore to myself to
Stop with the fuck shit
And focused on making the music

Stayed up еvery night just to make it work
For bettеr or worse
Laid up every night thinking about my worth
And repressing the hurt
Started believing that happiness was
Something i ain't deserve
So i made it a goal to flex on the world
Before i leave this earth
I done bid farewell to all the
Feelings that i bottled ghost inside a shell
After all these pills i swallowed
If you couldn't tell by now
I ain't no fucking idol this a cry for help-
Think i've always been a lost soul

Dealt with all this trauma
That i bottled up with bottles
Knowing it won't help
Is the hardest pill to swallow
Wanna ask myself- have i
Always been this hollow?
Don't know where to go
Yeah i've always been a lost soul

Hollup wait a minute
Fast forward now i'm winning
Still i feel so vacant, damn
All of these bands i been spending
Both of my wrist probably 20
Still getting drunk off the henny
Pockets are full but i'm empty
And that's on depression
When i'm under pressure i tend to do better
But all of this stress
Will leave me on the stretcher
My friends wanna help me but i never let em
If anyone tries them i'll probably kill them
That goes for my shorty
And everyone close to me
On my life i'm willing to die
And if i do, it's no need to cry
I'm with my brothers on the other side
Nah i'm trippin maybe i just really miss em
But i promised to keep on living
Ain't done with my mission
Until i'm getting these millions
And let em know who do it the best
Never fold, keep my foot on they necks
Stay focused on getting a check
I be praying that they never test me cuz

I done bid farewell to all the
Feelings that i bottled ghost inside a shell
After all these pills i swallowed
If you couldn't tell by now
I ain't no fucking idol this a cry for help-
Think i've always been a lost soul