Dr Syntax, Mr. Boss - Careful What You Wish For lyrics

I like a hot girl that knows
How to wipe her waist
Especially the type that's giving me
The time of day
And let's me get up in her private space
Greets me with a smilin' face
I'll leave her feelin' like a woman
Like Shania Twain

Alright, okay, I've got you thinking
'what a dick?'
I bet he's quite the opposite and
Comes across a neurotic bitch
Lackin' self confidence, is it that obvious?
Well let's just say I praise
The lord for alcoholic drinks
One night my game was on
Fire like it was herpes
Both the Fonze and Jon
Travolta would've been like
'we're not worthy'
Despite having started early I
Wasn't slurrin' my words
When I turned to a girl
Who was perfectly curvy
I didn't come off pervy

Flirty and risque perhaps
But she was taken aback
At times the self deprecating acts
Will get you crazy gash
We danced to basement Jackson and guzzled
Drinks until our brains were mashed
She invited me back to her flat
I said, 'let's take a cab'

She said, 'no, it's only down the road'
So I said, 'go' we walked and talked
I thought I'd scored
Until we were walkin' with some other bloke

Her cousin? No her brother? No
As far as introductions go
This one was coming slow
A bit weird I thought, but fuck it though

Once we'd lumped it home
This man was straight in with no explanation
My expectation was that I could rest her
Pale skin and privates, in private
With the lights dimmed

To my excitement
Things were moving on exactly to my liking
I was riding, she was writhing
It was beyond parental guidance
Rated 18 and know what
I mean? Excessive violence
I was feelin' like the Don
Putting my mac down
Until I heard a creaking in the background

'What the fuck was that?'
He had sneaked in and stripped down
To a g-string
And I would not agree to a threesome
With deviants, it's just demeaning (Hell no)
I don't want a geezer being as
Mean to me and a senorita between the sheets
Those are not the ingredients
Of a decent evening

The rest of it's irrelevant
Let's just say that my imperative was then
Just leggin' it as if my life was threatened
Now, I've met some odd people
But those two just took the biscuit
What they did to me was twisted
And it's just not wicked

You see
Back in sixth form I was a chicken shit dork
All I wanted was a fit broad
With the morals of big whore
If there's one you can garner
From this self indulgent discourse
Is that age old clique
Just be careful what you wish for