Freshy Kanal, Kevin Krust, Mat4yo - Barney Stinson vs. Sheldon Cooper lyrics

(Sitcom Laugh Track) rap Battle!
Barney Stinson! Versus!
Sheldon Cooper! Begin!

Ted, hold my drink
Where are all the blondes hidden?
I came here to pick up chicks
Not pick fights with chickens
'Cause wimps like you just aren't
My type of women freeze!
Here's how I put the bar in Barney Stinson
I can tell you're lacking any friends to love
Work alone 'cause you don't have
Good chemistry with anyone
And your look is flavourless like
All of your later skit's
You really took your character devеlopment
And said "Wait for it"
The Fahrenhеit is just as numbing
As your face tonight
Get your mom to test your case of
(gasp) crazy eyes
But I can tell you're slow
So I'll explain it in your slang
How I Met Your Mother? It
Started with a Big Bang

I'll have you know I'm
A theoretical physicist
But I bet that this idiot doesn't
Get what the difference is
I just can't watch how you're collecting
Numbers at your friends' cost
Take a seat, Swarley
And listen to my Ted talk
Welcome to Fun With Flags
We got a red flag today
Which was raised by many
Of Barney's questionable plays
There's a line of sexual
Harassment charges against you, stud
Better law (laughs) suit up
You're the greatest at dating?
A most illogical statement
I've done the math on your
Playbook and after various equations
I've found if you plug the numbers
Erase pity as a factor
The sum of women you end up
With is equal to your actor
And I'm the master at conducting these tracks
I thought you had fire magic
You should have used it in your raps
But when it comes to making sense
I'm swimming in many
While nowadays you're struggling to earn a
(knocks) penny

Tell that laugh track that plays
After every two words
Your showrunners are Sith Lords forcing
Laughs at this loser
I call dibs on babes before
They take off their blouse
You call dibs on printing your
Asscheeks on the couch
Your jokes are way too basic
Like who the hell would say this?
It's no surprise a scientist's
Humor is formulaic i'm too sick, you suck at
Everything that you do, kid
Call this battle virginity
It's the only time you'd lose it (Oh)
You've gotten nowhere with the
Life path you're walking
What's you expect following in the
Footsteps of Stephen Hawking?
I invoke the Lemon Law
I'm ending this speed date
Only player you'll ever be in during PC games

You're right, I shouldn't target you
You got an awesome life and
I'm jealous of your Barnitude
It's hard to pick the right chic to ring up
But even I can tell that Robin
Doesn't wanna be your sidekick bazinga!
From your dad's abandonment to
The babies you're ditching
I'm fairly certain this battle marks
Your first real commitment
Before you'd suit up
You couldn't get anyone aroused
You were such a hippie
Your first girl peaced out
Who's actually the one lacking
Social skills? You!
Fell in love with yourself because you
Had no one else to you utterly disgust me
Leonard, please save me from this
Walking pile of STDs

Who won? Who's next?
You decide!
The next rap battle is on the way!