GWAR - Logic of RagNaRök: Spew from Oderus Urungus lyrics
[GWAR - Logic of RagNaRök: Spew from Oderus Urungus lyrics]
Ladies and genitals my name is Oderus Urungus
For years, you have known me as a slayer of
Millions and, well, something of
A braggart well
Don't expect me to change because this year
I've really got something to brag about!
No, I'm not talking about the number of
Warts on my flaccid protuberance i'm
Talkin' about the end of it all
The apocalypse götterdämmerung! Game over
Man! I'm talking about doomsday
("Ooh") in the shape of a flaming mass
Of space junk the size of Cleveland
On a collision course with your hometown
I'm talking about the comet RagNaRök!
But first, just the facts, Jack it's mid-1999
I know you think it's only 1995
Everybody seems to think that well
Ya know what? You're wrong! Your
Calendar is wrong and while we're at it
Everything you know is wrong
So, once again summer 1999
As Pope John Paul languishes near
Death in his multi-billion dollar
"Pope Bubble" beneath the Vatican
As we party
In our recently-completed replacement
Antarctic stronghold
And as the humans grovel in the
Streets, a giant glowing orb
Is sighted in the
Heavens growing in size and fury every day
Top and bottom scientists examine the
Nature of the phenomena
And conclude the mass is a giant meteor
Or a big rock for you chowderheads out
There halfway along it's beeline to
An appointment with downtown LA and the
Subsequent annihilation of the planet Earth
The media was quick to dub this
Blundering boulder "RagNaRök" you may ask
"Why?" ("What is this?") And I might tell
You if you weren't such a
Worthless piece of camel poop but
I suppose I have to, as
The point of this asinine tape is
To be informative and congenial
Which is quite a task when
You're as filled with hateful
Bitter bile as I am! Heh
"RagNaRök" is the ancient Norse
Vikings', you dummy
Legend of the end of the world
Literally the "Twilight of the Gods" hmmi
Don't know if I like the
Sound of that anyway, it's also got
The word "rock" in it, even if
It's spelled wrong not wanting to "miss
The boat", so to speak
We quite cleverly named our
Album "RagNaRök" then we
Went and named ourselves "RagNaRök"
Creating untold confusion then we
Realized that was
A stupid idea so we renamed
Ourselves "Pimply Perlman And
His Tubesteak Rangers"
Then we realized there were
Ten other bands named that, so we're
Just plain old "GWAR" again! Now, can I get
Back to the point please? Actually, I don't
Know if I can or not, but here goes
Of course, gWAR is ecstatic for though
This rock possesses
More than enough destructive force
To pulverize the planet
To us it represents a chance to
Fulfill one of our most
Grandioserepeating failures yet yes
Escaping this pathetic
Planet once and for all for, as the
Comet smashes this world into bit's, we shall
Leap onto it's husk and then
Riding it using convenientcomet
Saddleswe shall
Escape your miserable planet!
Now that your fate has been
Spelled out for you in
Terms that a Mongolian yak herder
Could understand with ease
Even with popsicles rammed into his ears
You may be asking yourself: "Well gee, Mr
Giant Rubber Monster Guy
What am I supposed to do now?"
("Get to the choppa!") Do
You trust the government
And buy their lies about how the comet
Is going tomiss?
("") Do you trust your new "Warrior
Pope" ("Sieg Heil!") Julius I I
Who claims the rock
Is none other than some "God" guy trying
Desperately to achieve a "second coming"?
("Oh yeah") Or, perchance
You'll heed your mother's
Plaintive requests to
Cease your furry palmed diddlings of
One's self, come downstairs
And mount the family dog in full
View of your jeering neighbors?
Well, go ahead
As long as you are a complete and
Utter loser! But there is a path
That none but the brave may tread
A path littered with empty beer
Cans, bloated corpses
And soiled undergarments
The path of the RagNaRök-er
That elite mob of
Ravening weirdos who follow the gay whim of
Their lords and creators, GWAR! Unafraid
This pillaging army comes in the wake of the
Carnage GWAR brings! This path ends
On December 31, 1999, or whenever our
Tour comes to your town, as we hold one
Last great celebration to commemorate
Our time spent
On this seething mudball this party shall
Culminate in the mushing of your world as
RagNaRök plows into this cursed orb
Unleashing untold chaos and carrying us
Back to the stars!
Act now to ensure yourselves a place at
The top of the heap get our
New album RagNaRök! Fanatically digest
Every scrap of gWAR lore oh and you know
Don't eat that copy of Slave
Pit Funnies, read it! And if ya can't read
Look at the pictures! Then
And only thencan you
Eat it and then and only then will you
Be ready for the
Kneecap-splitting, brain-bubbling
Undie-soiling
Magnanimous efficicance that is RagNaRök!