LEX the Lexicon Artist, Schäffer the Darklord - Self-Proclaimed Psychic lyrics

You’re in luck! I shall accept this job
Now the fee for my services will depend
On which course of exorcism you pick
Option A, the trial course, gets you 20%
Option B, the serious course, gets you 50%
And Option C, the all-out course
Gets you a 99% spirit reduction
100% guaranteed, some restrictions apply
That said
It’s a bit difficult to completely
Get rid of one
Have no fear, if it comes back
I’ll get rid of it, for 20% off

You are standing in the presence of greatness
Take a chair, I gotcha
I, the world’s greatest psychic
Reigen Arataka am here to save you from
Your spirit's and such
Unbelievably powerful and just
Fearless enough i am idolized by espers
Mocked by skeptic adults
Call me a phony, a fraud all you want
But check my results
I cured a one-click curse
With my sorcery crush
Defeated a biker boss with
My vanishing salt punch
This is but one of my many special attacks
I’m a pro at the con in confidence
I’m packing in stacks
And I got a secret weapon
That'll solve any job
A validly talented adolescent named Mob hi
And sure I overwork him and
I call him an idiot but I care for the kid
At least that bit is legitimate
Guess my greatest gift’s the difference
That a mentor can make
And not successfully selling suckers the
Oil of a snake

I’m the world’s greatest psychic
And I’m his sidekick
Providing exorcisms at competitive prices
He’s a self-proclaimed genius
Nary a known weakness but all of his clients
Find his abilities specious
I’m a silver-tongued devil
Are my powers not special?
You’ll be so crazy strong you’ll melt things
When you get to my level okay, if you say so
Cheeseburger tornado!
I’m making a couple bucks an hour
Taking most of his caseload

Going to school
Acting a fool in front of all the girls
(damn) wanna be cool, but follow the rules
And watch my life unfurl (huh)
Gotta be fit, I go to the gym
It makes me want to hurl (bleh)
But I got a job and I got a boss
The best in all the world (yeah)
That’s right, I’m a part-time employee
For a manager I find only slightly annoying
I get paid minimum wage for
The spirit's I eradicate
Some people never get that
Even after they graduate
He validates my talent when he lets me assist
Although I know my expertise is
Only second to his it’s the outlet for my
Powers that I’ve missed
And if you resist my massive psycho wave
You’re getting decked by his fist
We’re an epic team getting rid
Of monsters in your closet
Though I wish he’d let me add
An extra chashu to my ramen
You can say it’s unethical
What we sell is corrupt
But hey I’d rather go to
Work than do telepathy club

I’m the world’s greatest psychic
And I’m his sidekick
Providing exorcisms at competitive prices
He’s a self-proclaimed genius
Nary a known weakness but all of his clients
Find his abilities speechless
I’m a silver-tongued devil
Are my powers not special?
You’ll be so crazy strong you’ll melt things
When you get to my level
Guess I'm kind of a novice
Anti-esper dropkick!
But watch me throw down when
I walk in the office

We’re the world’s best psychics
The masters of mind tricks
Providing exorcisms at competitive prices
He’s a self-proclaimed genius
Nary a known weakness but all of his clients
Find his abilities speechless
I’m a silver-tongued devil
Are my powers not special?
You’ll be so crazy strong you’ll melt things
When you get to my level okay, if you say so
Cheeseburger tornado!
I’m making a couple bucks an hour
Taking most of his caseload

Yeah, I don’t know
But I kind of think that maybe
After all the work I do
I deserve to add chashu to my ramen
Or an egg or extra noodles
Or something
I mean he’s already paying for my meal
And he’s a professional
And I’m in middle school i don’t know
I’m not gonna tell him whatever
It’s fine