MC Frontalot - This Old Man lyrics
[MC Frontalot - This Old Man lyrics]
Keep getting older and hairier
On my neck, back and derriere
But not atop the pate
Dear DNA, let’s negotiate!
I’ll trade the fading vision
You could have that back
Plus this 30-year-old man belly’s kinda wack
My hearing is nearing deafness and I wheeze
Yo, please
Save me from the wrist hurt disease!
It’s infeasible that these
A full list of ailments
Should do anything but accrue i’ll fail ten
Times out of ten to age in reverse like Mork
Is there anything sadder than a dork
For whom the new hotness
Is not just inaccessible
It’s grumbled against? You kids
Reduce your decibels!
Don’t make me come over there
And shake my cane (It’s that rapper from the
AARP and he’s insane)
This old man, he rhymed once
He put up some valiant fronts
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & charm
This old man kept rhyming on
Joints creaking while I squeak
Around the stage
Hella grandmothers telling me I ought
To act my age deranged already
I don’t got no brain medicine
If we were running out of food on a boat
I’d get jettisoned or eaten i’m unsweetened
Don’t tell me that I got the
Shortest straw I’m not a cretin
Just a little senile and gassy and slow
But, I bet I’m very salty!
And I could still row
Let’s gobble on that infant
Infants are useless
(also very soft, which is good
‘cause I’m toothless) come on kids
You want to get rescued or what?
Don’t mumble all amongst yourselves speak up!
(I lost my earhorn the other day on the bus)
You would think by the way
You whippersnappers make a fuss
That I said something crazy
Profound or obscene
Wait, where’d the ocean go? Where
Have you taken me?
This old man, he rhymed twice
He found this would not suffice
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & vim
This old man was dour and grim
Now Frontalot’s shopping for the
Top of the hill
Should have bought a burial plot
Soon as I got ill
But, I foolishly thought that I
Could put it off
Soft in the head, hard in the disposition:
How’d I earn this intractable attrition
Of the vigor that I figured
Would be mine for life?
Is there no upside? Well
The rhymes are rife!
Every year I’m alive, add to my vocabulary
Going to do it till I’m staring
At the ceiling in the mortuary
Plus I’m probably wise by now
And could do all the things
Old people talk about
Like: count pills argue bills at diners
Get a little tiny funky car and be a Shriner
Go to the haberdasher so I could look dapper
Get stroke and forget I’m too
Old to be a rapper
This old man, he rhymed thrice
He spoke a thin gruel of lies
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & spunk
This old man’s rhymes was bunk
This old man, he rhymed lots
Rhymed till he grew liver spots
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & cheer
Why he rhymed remains unclear
On my neck, back and derriere
But not atop the pate
Dear DNA, let’s negotiate!
I’ll trade the fading vision
You could have that back
Plus this 30-year-old man belly’s kinda wack
My hearing is nearing deafness and I wheeze
Yo, please
Save me from the wrist hurt disease!
It’s infeasible that these
A full list of ailments
Should do anything but accrue i’ll fail ten
Times out of ten to age in reverse like Mork
Is there anything sadder than a dork
For whom the new hotness
Is not just inaccessible
It’s grumbled against? You kids
Reduce your decibels!
Don’t make me come over there
And shake my cane (It’s that rapper from the
AARP and he’s insane)
This old man, he rhymed once
He put up some valiant fronts
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & charm
This old man kept rhyming on
Joints creaking while I squeak
Around the stage
Hella grandmothers telling me I ought
To act my age deranged already
I don’t got no brain medicine
If we were running out of food on a boat
I’d get jettisoned or eaten i’m unsweetened
Don’t tell me that I got the
Shortest straw I’m not a cretin
Just a little senile and gassy and slow
But, I bet I’m very salty!
And I could still row
Let’s gobble on that infant
Infants are useless
(also very soft, which is good
‘cause I’m toothless) come on kids
You want to get rescued or what?
Don’t mumble all amongst yourselves speak up!
(I lost my earhorn the other day on the bus)
You would think by the way
You whippersnappers make a fuss
That I said something crazy
Profound or obscene
Wait, where’d the ocean go? Where
Have you taken me?
This old man, he rhymed twice
He found this would not suffice
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & vim
This old man was dour and grim
Now Frontalot’s shopping for the
Top of the hill
Should have bought a burial plot
Soon as I got ill
But, I foolishly thought that I
Could put it off
Soft in the head, hard in the disposition:
How’d I earn this intractable attrition
Of the vigor that I figured
Would be mine for life?
Is there no upside? Well
The rhymes are rife!
Every year I’m alive, add to my vocabulary
Going to do it till I’m staring
At the ceiling in the mortuary
Plus I’m probably wise by now
And could do all the things
Old people talk about
Like: count pills argue bills at diners
Get a little tiny funky car and be a Shriner
Go to the haberdasher so I could look dapper
Get stroke and forget I’m too
Old to be a rapper
This old man, he rhymed thrice
He spoke a thin gruel of lies
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & spunk
This old man’s rhymes was bunk
This old man, he rhymed lots
Rhymed till he grew liver spots
With a wick-wack bitter lack
Of youthfulness & cheer
Why he rhymed remains unclear