Mel Brooks, Andrea Martin - He Vas My Boyfriend lyrics

Love comes when you least suspect it
Love dances in on a whim
I thought maybe I could direct it
But I never expected a guuy like him

He was a bully und a brute
He vas as crazy as a coot
Still I didn't give a hoot
He vas my boyfriend!
With ev'ry voman he vould flirt
He alvays treated me like dirt
But I vas happy to be hurt
He vas my boyfriend!

I vas as pure as a virgin meadow
Lying with Vicotr in the gloam
Then he turned to me
That charmer, whispered, "Let's play farmer"
And plowed me 'til the cows came home!

He vas a monster and a beast
His midnight bangings never ceased
It didn't faze me in the least
He vas my boyfriend!

(spoken)
I'll never forget the first time I met
Victor it vas on the village green
At the annual bock beer festival
Where every beer cost a bock
I vas an innocent young lamb and
He was a dirty old goat
Ve vere made for each other all of a sudden
He took out his paraphernalia and shouted
"Let's play croquet!"
And off to the field ve vent
He carried his hoops and mallets
And I carried his balls
What a festival! Fun and games
All day long archery, badminton, potato sack
Victor won the three legged
Raceall by himself
It vas love at first sight (sung)
He vas the one I gave my heart to
But ve never wed even so
If I mentioned wedlock
He'd put me in a headlock!

Vhen I asked to be his wife
He stabbed me with a kitchen knife
Ach, where did the good times go?

If he had an angry fit
I vas the first thing that he'd hit
But I didn't give a shit

He vas my boyfriend!